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25 Years in the Making

The tumultuous true story of two gay combat soldiers fighting for love, happiness, and their country against all odds — before, during, and after Don't Ask Don't Tell. The decorated officers served 23 years, deployed to three wars and deployed and five continents, forging a lifelong friendship while outmaneuvering the policy and its evolving perils of together.​

 

This sprawling story will take you inside remote foreign lands, grubby army towns, and senior Pentagon meetings, intimately conveyed through the eyes of Brett and Drake and a string of serious boyfriends, locked in a struggle with an invisible foe. They're courageous, insightful and wickedly funny, and it's one hell of a ride.

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The policy "compromise" was designed to loosen their shackles, but Don't Fall in Love draws back the curtain on how it made life so much worse — forcing brutal compromises and pitting their life's calling against happiness with the men they loved. It seemed to doom any serious relationship, but they were soldiers, so they fought. 

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Born on the eve of Stonewall, their lives tell the story of the liberation of our military and the wider LGBT equality movement, through their insightful eyes.

GLAAD Media Award

GLAAD Media Award gay soldiers book Dave Cullen Don't Ask Don't Tell Don't Fall in Love

Best Online Story

of the Year

 May 4, 2027 
Title page Dont Fall.png
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Summary

From the book jacket

An epic work of multi-decade reporting immersed in the lives of two gay soldiers before, during, and after Don't Ask, Don't Tell, from the author of the bestselling contemporary classic, Columbine.

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Years before he became a celebrated author, Dave Cullen, in denial about his own sexuality, enlisted in the Army infantry praying it would teach him to be a “real man.” His own experience informs this sweeping yet intimate account of two career soldiers who between them have served in three wars. Cullen first meets "Brett" and "Drake," two army buddies caught in the same predicament, in the year 2000, in a gay bar in Colorado, on assignment to report on the impact of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

 

Drake is a Southern charmer following in his Special Ops older brother’s footsteps into the Army; Brett is the dutiful son of Korean immigrants who were determined he attend West Point and find a suitable bride. Reported over 25 years, this sprawling saga takes us from barracks to gay chat rooms and clubs to foreign lands, conflict zones and senior Pentagon meetings. Seen from the eyes of two brave soldiers locked in battle with an insidious foe, this is the quintessential story of closeted military service men and women and the societal pressures and political policies that to this day limit and constrain their lives.

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Written with the ambition, narrative power and deep human understanding that made Columbine one of the most celebrated works of nonfiction books of the century, Don't Fall in Love is the story of two unforgettable warriors who faithfully served our country while being denied the most basic human value: the right to love.

Notify

Be Notified

​Email 'NOTIFY' in the subject line to dave@davecullen.com

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I'll personally email you when it's available for pre-order and when it's published. I never share addresses, and won't spam you.

Origin

Origin Story

I began this project by immersing in their lives for four months in early 2000. The ethnographic story won the GLAAD Media Award for best online story of the year.

gay soldier book DADT gays military Don't Ask Don't Tell

PART 2

A Heartbreaking Decision

 

June 2000

Sorry about that limp wrist image Salon's art department created. I didn't see it till it was in print.

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