New Members--Introduce Yourselves Here

[ObeOro]

Whoops, I've been around for, like, one month and I just noticed that there was this place for new members to introduce themselves! 

Well, right now it seems to me that I could be broadly categorized as a Rather Conservative Younger Woman (at least that's what I thought of myself prior to seeing the movie). Studying medicine (and that's what I've been doing for the last 6 years and all these years I've been totally concentrated on other people rather than myself) may have been a factor that shaped my personality and made me, paradoxically, less emotional. And then in November I saw Brokeback Mountain to which I was totally unprepared, neither emotionally nor in any other way. That is, I never thought that a film or any work of art could really change my way of thinking the way BBM did. For about two weeks I didn't really want to talk to anybody or go to work partly because it all seemed so bleak and imperfect compared to the powerful experience I got from the film and partly because I started to realize that I wasn't the same. Especially, the movie helped me to find a meaning of an unhappy, but strong relationship I had had years ago and which I had been trying to erase from my memory. It's not that the memories became less painful to me, it's just that I had finally courage to accept it as a part of my life.

It's really nice to be here, thanks for listening          

[Miaisland]

Whoops, I've been around for, like, one month and I just noticed that there was this place for new members to introduce themselves! 

Well, right now it seems to me that I could be broadly categorized as a Rather Conservative Younger Woman (at least that's what I thought of myself prior to seeing the movie). Studying medicine (and that's what I've been doing for the last 6 years and all these years I've been totally concentrated on other people rather than myself) may have been a factor that shaped my personality and made me, paradoxically, less emotional. And then in November I saw Brokeback Mountain to which I was totally unprepared, neither emotionally nor in any other way. That is, I never thought that a film or any work of art could really change my way of thinking the way BBM did. For about two weeks I didn't really want to talk to anybody or go to work partly because it all seemed so bleak and imperfect compared to the powerful experience I got from the film and partly because I started to realize that I wasn't the same. Especially, the movie helped me to find a meaning of an unhappy, but strong relationship I had had years ago and which I had been trying to erase from my memory. It's not that the memories became less painful to me, it's just that I had finally courage to accept it as a part of my life.

It's really nice to be here, thanks for listening          

Nice to meet you here at the forum! And to get to know a little more about you.
Thanks for talking!   

Hope to meet you many more times in threads.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ObeOro ))))))))))))))))))))))))

[MaineGirl]

Welcome (((((((((((((((ObeOro)))))))))))))))))) !


It is nice to see you here! 

[ObeOro]

Thanks for welcomes 

As to meeting me in other threads, I'm at the Lashes most often   

[Sason]

Welcome (((((((((( ObeOro ))))))))))))

Thanks for sharing. I always find it fascinating to hear the multitude of different ways this wonderful film has affected us.

So many different ways, but we have in commong that we are somehow changed by this powerful experience, and I still don't

understand how "just" a film can bring that about! It's a mystery.....

I'm sure you'll find likeminded people here on the forum.

[brokeinpublic]

This is my first post here. I love the movie and read Beyond Brokeback recently (wow!) and felt like I should start participating.

So…I’m Eric. I’m 24, grew up in Ohio, and am currently a graduate student.

I’ve got a question:

I know that members have gotten together to hang out on various occasions, but I’m curious about whether or not what drew you to the forums initially had something to do with the anonymity offered by the internet and non-face-to-face discussion? Since some of the posts here are so personal, I’m wondering about the motivation behind sharing them here; why you all chose to share your moving stories here rather than somewhere else, or with someone else? (Did you not have anywhere else to go? Anyone to talk to?).

[Ministering angel]

Hi Eric, and welcome. Good question. It's already Christmas Day where I am so this won't be a long reply.

I can't speak for others but my own experience is that the anonymity of a forum (and subsequent PMs and emails) can be very helpful. I think so much of this openness which is fostered here comes from knowing through experience that others can be trusted, that the sky does not fall in if I say something which I might have thought was a bit too revealing.

Plus, I think the inspiration for all this - BBM - is an example of two people who never get to say what they should. As Annie Proulx writes, "The years of things unsaid and now unsayable rose around them." We all have things that we should have said in the past. BBM has helped many of us to find a way of saying the important things right now.

[Flyboy]

Hi Eric, and welcome to DCF. I think your questions are valid and will probably illicit many different responses. I cannot speak for the others, but for me? I lurked here for 18 months (!) before I finally joined. I was fascinated by the stories, and connections people made through this forum. The Book had far, far more impact on me than the film. Which sorta put me in the minority here, I saw the film three times trying to get that emotional 'gut-punch' everyone seems to have felt. I never did. I admired all the performances in BBM, the actors did a great job, every one. But I am drawn to the written word, a film just cannot 'reach' me the way words can...............

anyway, I hope you generate some answers to your questions, I'm sure you will. It is the Holiday Season though, so some responses may be late in coming.............on that note, Happy Holidays to you and yours, and best wishes for the new Year!
Stay with us, you will find warm, caring, intelligent folks here.

take care now............Jonn

[Ministering angel]

Another thought crossed my mind about your question, Eric. One of the benefits of not being face to face with people is that there are usually not so many preconceptions about the person/s we are addressing. The (seemingly) most unlikely alliances spring up around here because of that initial step into the unknown. It's a soul-to-soul thing. We can communicate before we are aware that the person whom we are addressing is a straight man/bisexual young woman/elderly gay man/whatever else. This isn't always the case, of course, but often it is. Or we are drawn to someone's story and find a connection there even though it in no obvious way reflects our own. It's a great learning experience, and one which most forum members have grabbed with both hands, I think.

Thanks for giving my brain cells a stir this morning 
Marian

[dejavu]

I know that members have gotten together to hang out on various occasions, but I’m curious about whether or not what drew you to the forums initially had something to do with the anonymity offered by the internet and non-face-to-face discussion? Since some of the posts here are so personal, I’m wondering about the motivation behind sharing them here; why you all chose to share your moving stories here rather than somewhere else, or with someone else? (Did you not have anywhere else to go? Anyone to talk to?).

Welcome to the Forum, Eric!  What a great first post!

In my case, the original reason I joined was to better understand the film BBM.  I didn't post anything personal at first.  So I was just seeking information in a rather abstract way, and didn't really think about the advantage or disadvantage of anonymity.  It wasn't so much my story that I initially shared as my reactions to the film; but yes, I chose this location because I didn't have any other good place to go, or anyone in real life that I could talk to about why I felt so moved by BBM.  (And it was hard for me to tell a lot of people that I had even gone to see this "gay cowboy movie," as it was being called then in the jokes.)

Eventually, I did begin sharing more of my own feelings online, and talking about my personal experiences.  Gradually, I began to feel more comfortable with the people I interacted with on a daily basis -- more trusting.  But you do have to be a little on guard, just as in real life.  You don't really know who you're talking to until you have crossed that boundary and met someone in person, or exchanged a lot of one-on-one PMs or emails.   

In the beginning, I did feel somewhat protected by the anonymity of choosing a screen name that no one could associate with me.  My best friend had heard stories about people meeting strangers on the Internet and then having something bad happen to them if they connected in real life, so he warned me not to give many details about where I lived, my background, etc. -- anything that could be traced.  Even when I went to my first local get-together, this friend advised me not to reveal the city/county where I live, for example.  I think now that this was a little paranoid, and I've posted quite a few personal details online, as well as meeting a lot of people in person.  By the time you've spent time with people, it's just like any other set of relationships; you develop a gut feeling about whether or not what you're saying is too revealing.

A lot of people feel that they want to remain anonymous at first, and won't post their picture.  But eventually, many of them give in and do so, using their own picture in their avatar.  I think this is just another example of how they have come to trust the other people here on the Forum. 

[Sason]

Welcome to the forum Eric!  Please keep on posting, I'm sure you'll find friends and likeminded people here.

My personal answers to your questions is that my initial reason to share my feelings on the forum was what you suggested: I had nowhere else to do it. Noone I knew in RL had experienced even a shadow of what I felt re BBM, and I didn't want to reveal myself to them, it was far too personal. Not only that, I very much needed to hear from other people that they had the same experience and feelings as I had. That the forum was anonymous I think helped me in this in the beginning, I knew that what I shared couldn't possibly be traced back to me. But the biggest help for me to open up about my feelings was seeing that everyone else here did just that, and their openness and honesty helped me in gaining trust to open up and share.

What Marian says, about communicating soul to soul, rings very true to me too. This film has touched our souls, our very core, and the communication on this forum doesn't need personal specifics to be honest and reach deep within us.

After attending a few gatherings and meeting with people in person, I no longer feel the need to be anonymous to fellow brokies. I can share openly to people on the forum, whether I met them in person or not, and I no longer hesitate to give out my phone number or adress if needed once I've established a relationship here on the forum. I trust people here.

The reason I don't have my picture as an avatar is no longer the need to be anonymous to people here, it's more for fear that someone I know in RL will for some reason find the forum and recognize me. Since I'm very personal here in some posts, I don't want that to happen. I don't want people in my RL to know things about me that I haven't chosen to share specifically with them. I also have a job in public health service and meet a lot of patients. I especially don't want them to know personal things about me.

Happy Holidays to you Eric, and I hope to see more of your posts here.

Sonja

[Miaisland]

This is my first post here. I love the movie and read Beyond Brokeback recently (wow!) and felt like I should start participating.

So…I’m Eric. I’m 24, grew up in Ohio, and am currently a graduate student.

I’ve got a question:

I know that members have gotten together to hang out on various occasions, but I’m curious about whether or not what drew you to the forums initially had something to do with the anonymity offered by the internet and non-face-to-face discussion? Since some of the posts here are so personal, I’m wondering about the motivation behind sharing them here; why you all chose to share your moving stories here rather than somewhere else, or with someone else? (Did you not have anywhere else to go? Anyone to talk to?).

Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting, Eric.

For me the anonymity was very important initially. The impact was so strong and I just didn't know how to talk about it with family or friends when it was new to me. I even felt stupid about it.... But after some time here, when I got to know other Brokies, it got easier. Now I don't have any problems talking about Brokeback Mountain or about the forum to anyone.

 
Mia

[euphoricair]

Hello everyone! My name is Sara, I'm italian, I'm thirty. This is my first post here...i've lurked for MONTHS around without writing nothing because my english isn't very good and I was afraid of filling every line with silly mistakes!!
Now I try... a lot of interesting stuff in this forum, I've become seriously obsessed.
I love you, folks!!!javascript:void(0);

[fritzkep]

Benvenuto al Foro, Sara!

Spero che Lei sarà felice qui!

[dejavu]

Welcome, Sara!  I understand your English just fine.

And I understood what Fritz wrote, even if I can't write Italian.  I hope you will be happy here, too.