Brokeback's Impact on Women

[gnash]

i met a woman today, 20, who saw brokeback for the first time about a month ago. she said she had wanted to see it when whe was younger but her parents wouldn't let her, and this was even without them ever having seen it before. i told her that five years ago she might have been too young for the movie, but she disagreed. she said that they were were allowing her and her brother see far more violent and sexual movies at the time, and that it was the homosexual factor that they disliked.

anyway, she rented the movie on her own after having forgotten about it as the years went by, and was moved to tears, as you can imagine. said that she watched it several times in a row and it pretty much ruined her whole weekend -- in a good way.  

she loved jake and heath in the movie and even though she doesn't seem very fan girlish i told her about the forum and slash (she never heard of it) and she seemed fairly interested in the "alternate universes" with the boys.

i knew that BBM would do this -- keep on making people feel the way it made us feel when the movie came out. i'm so glad the BBM is still affecting souls. when i go to the library i always check to see if the dvd is on the shelves, and it is, sometimes four or five copies are available. lots of copies of the short story available, too...  i realize this is los angeles, though, and it's probably not like that in many rural areas... but with netflix and online services, at least people that want to see the movie or read the story will be able to do so without much fanfare!

that's all!

 

[BayCityJohn]

i
...  i realize this is los angeles, though, and it's probably not like that in many rural areas... but with netflix and online services, at least people that want to see the movie or read the story will be able to do so without much fanfare!
 

Oh yes it is like that in rural areas  . I met a woman in Bozeman who told me much the same story although whe was quite a bit older. She rented the film when she heard about the 'Beyond Brokeback' show at the library.

[gnash]

always nice to hear that BBM is getting through to people, at any age!

wait... you were in BOZEMAN for the beyond brokeback reading? that's awesome! linda told me it was a sold out show! how wonderful! good for greg, good for the forum... good for the gay cause.

[Miaisland]

Thank you for sharing this, Jimmy!

I am glad she got to see the film now. It is wonderful to know that people still get as taken by the film as we were. I hope there will be room and space for new members to come here and feel welcomed to the forum many, many years from now.

Just to come here and get the possibility to meet other Brokies, other people as affected by Brokeback Mountain is wonderful, it still is.

[Sason]

Oh yes it is like that in rural areas  . I met a woman in Bozeman who told me much the same story although whe was quite a bit older. She rented the film when she heard about the 'Beyond Brokeback' show at the library.

That's wonderful, John!

As is Jimmy's story.

[gnash]

i'm surprised how many women i talk to that haven't seen the movie yet, too. like, a TON. sometimes i'll bring it up (they ask if i've seen any good movies and i say, "not since brokeback" LOL) and they sometimes make a face, or crinkle their nose, like they have no interest in seeing a "gay" movie.

even if i say, "but jake gyllenhaal is totally naked in it!" they say, "really? nooo..." like i'm making it up, and want to change the subject even more.

and they're NOT lesbians, i tell you! 


i think a lot of married women probably don't want to be reminded that their husbands could possibly or be might probably be gay, or might be cheating on them with something less dangerous than another woman, like a buddy or friend that they may even know.

a coworker i know... well, she caught her husband with another man. not in bed, but at the beach here in LA. she suspected and followed him, there he was, sharing a towel, getting cuddly with a guy. they were both in their speedos and squirting the tanning oil on each other like it was the most natural thing in the world.

she didn't know what to do, but she was devastated, for sure.

well, she did know what to do,,,, she filed for divorce! however, they're still friends since they have children and all that.

life goes on...

[Sason]

Well, if I were married it would make no difference to me whether he was cheating with a man or a woman.
The betrayal would be the cheating itself, not the person he did it with.

[desertrat]

Well, if I were married it would make no difference to me whether he was cheating with a man or a woman.
The betrayal would be the cheating itself, not the person he did it with.

same here. of course, any type of cheating (for me, defined as long-term outside relationship with emotions invested, not just a quick one night stand) would be devastating. i'm not sure, but i think if my husband would come out it would hurt me less because then i would know that he is searching something i can't give him anyway, while cheating with a woman would hurt my self confidence much more. but i've never been in the situation and given how much my partner is among gay men due to my lgbt work i think he wouldn't have been able to hide an attraction to men for that long  he's comfortable among gay men, but says he has no attraction to men at all.

as for movies about gay men/ women: naturally, i/ we have seen quite a lot. i don't feel threatened, and in bbm, certainly jake gyllenhal was NOT the reason for me to watch it. i tend to get very much into the story, so when i'm watching the movie, i perceive those men not as straight actors but really as gay men. and concerning gay men, i seem to have something like that mechanism that prevents you of falling in love with close kin like brothers or so - i don't fall for gay men. i never did. therefore, no falling for either jake/jack or heath/ennis. 

[Cally]

I think I would feel worse if he cheated with a man - I'd feel "All this time when I thought you wanted me, you wanted something that I am not and could never be." And I would feel even more ... devalued.

[kathy]

**So would I.**

kathy

[BlueJeanDarlin]

i knew that BBM would do this -- keep on making people feel the way it made us feel when the movie came out. i'm so glad the BBM is still affecting souls.

 

Well, it sure affected mine. I first saw Brokeback Mountain about six months ago, and have been lurking on here since then. It's hard to say something 'new', cos everything has already been said, better than I could ever put it, but reading through these posts, it amazes me how many people feel exactly the same way about the movie. It's universal. And yet unique.
So yes - the magic continues.

[Miaisland]

Well, it sure affected mine. I first saw Brokeback Mountain about six months ago, and have been lurking on here since then. It's hard to say something 'new', cos everything has already been said, better than I could ever put it, but reading through these posts, it amazes me how many people feel exactly the same way about the movie. It's universal. And yet unique.
So yes - the magic continues.

Yes, as you say it is universal and unique at the same time. And the magic continues. Isn't that amazing... Thank you Sonja for posting here.  

There are so many aspects of Brokeback mountain to take up and talk about. So much can be talked about again and again and there is always room for new thoughts, new interpretations. For instance here, when it comes to Brokeback's impact on women a lot more can be said. I think so.

How come so many of us was so deeply affected? I still can't answer that for myself. At a lecture a year or so ago, with one of my countrie's smartest feminist and queer academics (hope such a description works...) I answered the question if any of us were somehow involved in a fan culture and I told a little about my life as a Brokie. The lecturer asked why Brokeback mountain, what it was in me that the film touched and I couldnt' really answer. I still can't answer after all these years....

So much yet to be explored...

[jack]

Well, if I were married it would make no difference to me whether he was cheating with a man or a woman.
The betrayal would be the cheating itself, not the person he did it with.

not to change your mind, but to offer a different perspective, my wife knew i leaned gay, or the gay side of bi, more gay than she knew or i could admit, but our marriage contract had a sort of codicil.  she might not have been delighted if i had a hookup with a guy, but it was no threat to her, since she knew that was a part of me that she could not satisfy.  but had i cheated with a woman, all bets, and the marriage, would be off.  i offered her the freedom to meet her sexual needs outside the marriage, but that simply wasn't her way.  and i hasten to point out, this was prior to the aids breakout.

[Sason]

not to change your mind, but to offer a different perspective, my wife knew i leaned gay, or the gay side of bi, more gay than she knew or i could admit, but our marriage contract had a sort of codicil.  she might not have been delighted if i had a hookup with a guy, but it was no threat to her, since she knew that was a part of me that she could not satisfy.  but had i cheated with a woman, all bets, and the marriage, would be off.  i offered her the freedom to meet her sexual needs outside the marriage, but that simply wasn't her way.  and i hasten to point out, this was prior to the aids breakout.

Thanks for your input, Jack.

I see your situation as different from what I was talking about. Your wife knew you were bi/gay, and you had a mutual understanding that it was ok for you to meet men outside of your marriage. That's not 'cheating' in my book.

And again, it's not about the sex of the person. Had you had a mutual understanding that it was ok for you to meet women (or for her to meet men, the way you had), that wouldn't have been 'cheating' either.

For me, cheating is having sex or a relationship that your partner/spouse doesn't know about, behind their back. Regardless of sex, that would be betrayal to me.