A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood

[garyd]

Some here don't agree with the house as prison theory, but I don't see it any other way.  The two men led an isolated existence before Jim's death except for an occasional visit from local kids to see the animals.  However, now that George is alone, except for his position at the college, he has no close friends or confidants (I don't see Charley as helpful).  IMO he runs the danger of becoming old and bitter -- he needs more than memories for his mental health -- he needs a new perspective, and he won't get it by being housebound -- a mental captivity to Jim's ghost and "a prisoner for life."

I agree with your sentiments regarding George, Nikki,but  perhaps  "prison" just seems to conjure the wrong "image" for the house.  It is certainly a refuge, a safe haven, a place for George to privately escape and "lick his wounds ".  It is, I suppose, a bit of an "enabler" to his depression. 
Of course, it is not the house that needs to change, it is George.....and he appears to be slowly coming to the same conclusion. 

As for Charley, I think she helps in her own small way.  It is through her, to a certain extent, that George begins to realize the futility of trying to "go back" to something, someplace, that really no longer exists.  (i.e. going back to the U.K. is actually not in the best interest of Charley nor will it solve her problems)

[Nikki]

Nkki, I agree that George needs more than memories. but I have learned that the recommended most effective way to deal with bereavement is to share memories of the deceased with other people who knew him/herand not just immediately after the death either. Doing so would allow George the "space" to explore and develop a new perspective.

Yes, I know that many people want to hear stories about loved ones, etc..  However, George has no one with whom  he can do this (as I said, Charley is not suitable), and staying in his isolated house reliving the past is not a healthy approach to grief. He needs to find a new environment and meet new people.

[Nikki]

When Jim was alive I get the feeling the house seemed private but not isolated, Nikki.  And even now I don't see it as a prison for Geoge - it's haunted by memories, but moving away would be like a betrayal of their life together, and something he's certainly not yet ready for.  He doesn't socialise with the neighbours but he's not housebound - his work is very much involved with people, students and staff, and, to anticipate, he has formed relationships, of a kind, with both, even if he's regarded as eccentric.

He does so need to be able to talk about Jim, but I think that being the man he is he would isolate himself - at least at this stage of his grieving - wherever he lived. If he himself had lived longer - but it's too soon, and not helpful anyway, to start on the what-ifs.

I don't mean he should move right away, but if he wants a healthy, better adjusted life he must change his own life.  When they were together, the house was romantically isolated -- now it's empty and cold, and the memories are haunting him.

[Nikki]

I agree with your sentiments regarding George, Nikki,but  perhaps  "prison" just seems to conjure the wrong "image" for the house.  It is certainly a refuge, a safe haven, a place for George to privately escape and "lick his wounds ".  It is, I suppose, a bit of an "enabler" to his depression.  
Of course, it is not the house that needs to change, it is George.....and he appears to be slowly coming to the same conclusion.  

As for Charley, I think she helps in her own small way.  It is through her, to a certain extent, that George begins to realize the futility of trying to "go back" to something, someplace, that really no longer exists.  (i.e. going back to the U.K. is actually not in the best interest of Charley nor will it solve her problems)

Yes, Gary, the house was a refuge, a romantic hideaway when Jim was alive.  Now it is filled with memories -- some sad and likely to be depressing, and it can seem like a prison to anyone who is relegated to solitary grief like George.

Charley may help when the two of them are in an alcoholic haze and she is discussing her own issues.  I don't think she'd be a good confidant for someone grieving as is George.

[Nikki]

Well, I guess my statement flushed out some interesting nay-sayers.  Maybe we should take a poll to see whether George should move, seek counseling, or new friends.   I do believe it's unhealthy for him to stay there.  What seemed to be a romantic little love nest before Jim's death is far from the idyllic home they shared now.  He is alienated from his neighbors (understandably so), and not close to anyone who can lend him the sympathetic ear he needs at this time,  IMO the house is a prison and, if not for his job at the uni, he would be a prisoner.

[michaelflanagansf]

What makes it so difficult for him to let his grief work its way through him is that he has no-one to talk with about Jim, no-one to share memories of him with, largely because of his perception of mainstream people's homophobia or condescending pitying tolerance and because he doesn't have a community of gay friends to turn to.

Tony (and Debbie) - I agree completely with this (and I see where you were going with your earlier comments about the gay community too).  It reminds me of something that I said about Jack and Ennis in earlier discussion - that what was a shame was that he didn't have friends whom they could discuss this with and work out what they felt.

George does, of course, have Charley, but you do have to wonder how much he could work out with her emotionally, particularly given what their relationship has become.

[garyd]

Charley may help when the two of them are in an alcoholic haze and she is discussing her own issues.  I don't think she'd be a good confidant for someone grieving as is George.

I agree, but she is a friend.  A good friend I think. 
However, she is also a very "high maintenance" friend which is why George hesitates at the invitation to dinner.
We all have friends like Charley, I think. (Well, at least Mrs. d and I do).  Delightful people, good company much of the time but
always some sort of high drama going on.   
And the drama can make one weary.

As for the house... it really is sort of a moot point.  George, of course, does not move and I suppose what you are inferring is that things might turn out differently if he did.
Not sure I agree with that.
I think George is on the cusp of "moving on " anyway but that is for a later discussion I suppose.

[dejavu]

Well, I guess my statement flushed out some interesting nay-sayers.  Maybe we should take a poll to see whether George should move, seek counseling, or new friends.   I do believe it's unhealthy for him to stay there.  What seemed to be a romantic little love nest before Jim's death is far from the idyllic home they shared now.  He is alienated from his neighbors (understandably so), and not close to anyone who can lend him the sympathetic ear he needs at this time,  IMO the house is a prison and, if not for his job at the uni, he would be a prisoner.

Well, a thought for that poll... 

George still likes the beach near his house (we learn more of this later).  He still has his books in his house, which are his most important non-human possession.  Even if the house no longer serves the purpose of being a romantic little love nest, it's small and has a nice layout for a single person.  It is somewhat isolated from the neighbors (except for the kids who play on the bridge and occasionally bang on his door), so it seems like a good location for a professor to do his thinking in.

Perhaps he could move to get away from the children and their noise, but in real life, that seldom works (it's happened to me); you never know what kind of neighbors you will get in your new location, and when the current neighbors move out, you never know who will move in in their place.  Perhaps he could move closer to campus (and avoid the freeway driving) but he might have more partying students to annoy him with noise there.  Perhaps he could move to a location where there were more gay people, but he might not find someone who was willing to listen to him talk about Jim; perhaps he'd find himself more at home in a gay community after he had come to terms with Jim's death and was ready to look for someone new.

As for counseling, therapy has evolved so much since 1962 (in addition to the fact that psychologists have become so much more enlightened about homosexuality since 1962) that I'm not sure he could have found a helpful counselor in those days.

So I would vote for "new friends" among the choices you list.  Stay in the same house, but try to make a few new connections with new people, and maybe eventually invite them to the house.  The house could still give him privacy when he wants it, but allow him to have friends over when he wanted that.  And before he could do that, he might have to change his view of the house from being "his and Jim's house" to simply being, in his mind, "my house."  I'm not saying it would be easy, but it would be a more gradual shift than just picking up and moving and maybe regretting it later.

[garyd]

And yes, any thoughts you have about the Mrs. Strunk passage would be appreciated.  Then maybe we can go from there.

By the time he writes “A Single Man” Isherwood is an accomplished and experienced novelist.  He even teaches literature at Cal State.  If one examines his writing, it is obvious that he knows the rules regarding narrative voice and he adheres to them.
The entirety of “A Single Man’ is written in third person, subjective, limited omniscient.  In other words we know, through the narrator, what George feels and thinks but we are limited to George.  Except in the Mrs. Strunk passage. 

Isherwood changes voice in this one small passage.  There really is no doubt about it.  The question is ….why?

[michaelflanagansf]

I agree, but she is a friend.  A good friend I think. 
However, she is also a very "high maintenance" friend which is why George hesitates at the invitation to dinner.
We all have friends like Charley, I think. (Well, at least Mrs. d and I do).  Delightful people, good company much of the time but
always some sort of high drama going on.   
And the drama can make one weary.

High maintenance - check
High drama - check

She also seems to have messy psychological boundaries and is alcoholic.  So she's one step past a trifecta.

I agree that people like this can be delightful - but they're often a handful to manage.  I'm sure either you or I could tell stories....

[Ellen (tellyouwhat)]

hmmm--

not wishing to get too far ahead of our questions this week, (the visit with Charley) but George does seem quite willing to keep her in his life.  And he isn't exactly a shrinking violet when it comes to alcohol.

possibly she is valuable as someone to share these drunken states, now and then.  But I have other theories.  I'll wait for the questions.

[Nikki]

I agree, but she is a friend.  A good friend I think. 
However, she is also a very "high maintenance" friend which is why George hesitates at the invitation to dinner.
We all have friends like Charley, I think. (Well, at least Mrs. d and I do).  Delightful people, good company much of the time but
always some sort of high drama going on.   
And the drama can make one weary.

As for the house... it really is sort of a moot point.  George, of course, does not move and I suppose what you are inferring is that things might turn out differently if he did.
Not sure I agree with that.
I think George is on the cusp of "moving on " anyway but that is for a later discussion I suppose.

Charley is not only high maintenance, she is very needy and that is extremely tiresome.  I too had a friend who was extremely needy -- a single woman who craved companionship.  I had to cut the relationship off for my own sanity.  This is especially annoying when the person is so dependent.

No, I wasn't inferring that things would turn out differently if George moved, rather that change might help him if he did and    if he pursued a new life, new friends, etc.   OTOH if he stayed in the same house and succumbed to his grief and depression, he might blow his brains out.

[Ellen (tellyouwhat)]

Regarding George's house -- I actually do think it seems quite perfect for him.  Maybe I'm being influenced by the film, though.  But even in the book it's described as a very cozy place, sophisticated but also bohemian, exactly to George's taste -- where else should he live, I wonder?  He doesn't want to leave his neighborhood close to the beach and the various bohemian venues (even if some of them are mostly only in memory).

I don't think he'd want to leave the house to forget Jim exactly -- I think he would reject the notion that being in some new place would in any way improve his situation of grief.  

I think he accepts that he is stuck with his grief (until it might dissipate) but part of him is holding onto the grief, because as long as the grief is sharp, it means Jim hasn't been gone too long.  When the grief begins to blur it will be a loss to George.

Part of me thinks he might even find the idea of a new place a bit sterile, even artificial, an easy sort of postwar, modern solution.

[garyd]

  OTOH if he stayed in the same house and succumbed to his grief and depression, he might blow his brains out.

LOL, well perhaps.  
It sounds as though you and Ford are on the same wave-length.  
I don't see (book) George as being suicidal, however, and I think Ford made a bit of a mis-step when he introduced
the idea in the film.  
FWIW,
G

[Nikki]

Well, a thought for that poll... 

George still likes the beach near his house (we learn more of this later).  He still has his books in his house, which are his most important non-human possession.  Even if the house no longer serves the purpose of being a romantic little love nest, it's small and has a nice layout for a single person.  It is somewhat isolated from the neighbors (except for the kids who play on the bridge and occasionally bang on his door), so it seems like a good location for a professor to do his thinking in.

Perhaps he could move to get away from the children and their noise, but in real life, that seldom works (it's happened to me); you never know what kind of neighbors you will get in your new location, and when the current neighbors move out, you never know who will move in in their place.  Perhaps he could move closer to campus (and avoid the freeway driving) but he might have more partying students to annoy him with noise there.  Perhaps he could move to a location where there were more gay people, but he might not find someone who was willing to listen to him talk about Jim; perhaps he'd find himself more at home in a gay community after he had come to terms with Jim's death and was ready to look for someone new.

As for counseling, therapy has evolved so much since 1962 (in addition to the fact that psychologists have become so much more enlightened about homosexuality since 1962) that I'm not sure he could have found a helpful counselor in those days.

So I would vote for "new friends" among the choices you list.  Stay in the same house, but try to make a few new connections with new people, and maybe eventually invite them to the house.  The house could still give him privacy when he wants it, but allow him to have friends over when he wanted that.  And before he could do that, he might have to change his view of the house from being "his and Jim's house" to simply being, in his mind, "my house."  I'm not saying it would be easy, but it would be a more gradual shift than just picking up and moving and maybe regretting it later.

George does not have to be tethered to his possessions he could take his books with him, he could move to a condo in a high rise near the beach, he could buy a condo or house  in an adult community -- no kids -- He could entertain anywhere, so I don't agree that "things" should keep him there.

I suggested counseling for his grief/depression not for his sexuality.  So far, I don't have the impression that being a gay man is a problem for him anyway.

I think the best answer to this discussion is to agree to disagree, since I've run out of ideas.