Dave Cullen Forum - The 3rd Anniversary

[CellarDweller115]

This thread was originally 'Topic of the Week - 16th Edition'.  Thanks to your responses and suggestions, we've changed the title and relocated it to the 'Impact' board.  You're welcome to post about your forum anniversary here as well. Thanks for sharing your memories as we move into Year Four. 

December 24, 2008 marked the 3rd anniversary of Dave Cullen's Ultimate Brokeback Forum! 

Do you remember how you found this forum?  Do you remember the day you joined?  Did you immediately jump into conversations?  Did you "lurk" for a while first, to see what people were saying?  Did your particpation here change your life or behaviors in any way?  Did you do new things for the first time that were related to the movie or this forum?

You may also use this thread to discuss your favorite memories here.  You may talk about older posts, discussions, pictures, trips.

When it comes to posting pictures, please keep in mind that this section of the forum is not "members only", so keep the privacy of others in mind.

Also, please remember you do not have to have joined the forum 3 years ago to participate in this thread.  This topic is open to everyone, whether you joined 3 years ago, 3 months ago, 3 weeks ago, or 3 days ago.

Hello Ultimate Brokeback Forum members!

Thank you for participating in our "Topic Of The Week" thread.  It's time to pose our next question.  But first, a brief reminder of how this thread works.

A thread will be started, with a specific topic set, based on the original short story, or movie, or both.  The discussion will be opened the time period of one week.  After that week, the thread will be locked, and archived as "read only".  A new thread, with a new topic, will be started the following week.

While we understand that conversations can wander, we would appreciate it if we stayed as close to topic as possible.

If you have any questions that you feel would be a great topic for a future thread, please feel free to send the question through a PM to TellYouWhat, Nax, or CellarDweller115.


And now, on to our "Topic Of The Week".  This topic was suggested by a BayCityJohn and MissYouSoMuch.

*****
December 24nd marks the starting of the Dave Cullen Forum, it's the forum's 3 year anniversary. 

Do you remember how you found this forum?  Do you remember the day you joined?  Did you immediately jump into conversations?  Did you "lurk" for a while first, to see what people were saying?  Did your particpation here change your life or behaviors in any way?  Did you do new things for the first time that were related to the movie or this forum?

You may also use this thread to discuss your favorite memories here.  You may talk about older posts, discussions, pictures, trips.

When it comes to posting pictures, please keep in mind that this section of the forum is not "members only", so keep the privacy of others in mind.

Also, please remember you do not have to have joined the forum 3 years ago to participate in this thread.  This topic is open to everyone, whether you joined 3 years ago, 3 months ago, 3 weeks ago, or 3 days ago.

*****

[Bobby19in1963]

Shit! Fuck! and SonofaBitch!  Did this forum change my life?  Whoa Nellie!

Hi! All:

Many of you may not know me because since I've come out my life has been a whirlwind of activity.  I remember that day, Feb 6th 2006 when I quit lurking and made my first post here.  Since then you'd have a hard time inventing the story that has been mine.

The Brokeback Mountain Lovesick Diet thread helped me lose 70 lbs.

We organized dozens of us and published a book...Beyond Brokeback.

I've written OP-EDs seen by hundreds of thousands, been on the radio, done video for local news outlets.

I came out to family and friends...mostly losing them, divorced my wife of 43 years, moved to a new town and bought a home.

Shit!  There's lots more, but I want to tell you that I now have a love interest!  Well, it's all on my side.  I was just sitting on a log and along came this beautiful butterfly!  He's cute, the right age, has money, horses, dogs, cats, used to own three restaurants so he's a good cook, and lawd a mighty is he fun to be around...a real dynamo!

He's special because he has treated me more kindly than anyone I've ever known.  Just the touch of his hand on mine, rubbing against his whiskery cheek as we hug, and the thoughtful things he says.  Ever had someone offer you a delicious bite of what they're cooking on a ladle ... with a cute smile, and a 'Taste this."? 

Yep!  It's all in my head, but he called me from a bar the other night where he was handing out fliers for a protest coming up and said, Someone just asked where my husband was.

I have NO delusions of grandeur in this...all off this love stuff is on my side, but a guy can hope, can't he?  That's a long ways from where I've been before in this coming out journey since Brokeback.

Lots more to say...but so little time...no time...no time.

Love ya all.

Bobby

[fritzkep]

It's been an amazing ride, hasn't it?

Who would have guessed three years ago that we'd still be at it and going so strong?

My partner Earl and I saw the movie at a local theater a bit after the new year 2006; we couldn't see it earlier because I was away visiting family in South Carolina around the time it opened here. We were silent after seeing it all the way home, but when we got there I went on the Net immediately and googled Brokeback Mountain to see what was available. I also downloaded the short story so that I could read it immediately. (Pace, Ms Proulx, I have since bought the story.)

The first forum I found was Ennisjack, and became a member there. But not too long after I found this Forum and Bettermost, and joined on 24 January. Since I find myself most at home here, I tend to spend more time here than in the other forums. At first I lurked and read, and really didn't think that I'd have much to add. Well, perhaps I've still had nothing to add, but at least I have had a few things to say.

Since joining here, I have met friends whom I probably would have never met otherwise, some near, some far, some with us and others who had to leave. I cherish meeting you all, whether in real life or just through this marvel of communication. Earl was less affected by the movie than I was, but the movie did get him back into wrestling (inspired by the tumble down the hill on the last day of that summer of 1963) and to become more interested in meeting new people.

Bless you all. I wish you a joyous holiday and a peaceful new year. And thank you.

[fritzkep]

And an appropriate place, I suppose, for a 34Kth post.

[dejavu]

Do you remember how you found this forum?

I was so thunderstruck by the movie that I had to find out what other people's reactions had been, so I went online (something fairly new for me) and searched for reviews of BBM.  On other sites, I came across commentary (response to reviews) by various people around the country, and printed out some of them.  Somehow I ended up on afterelton.com and there was a reference to the Dave Cullen Forum.  That's how I checked out DCF, and since there was far more material here than anywhere I'd been, I stayed here.

Do you remember the day you joined?

My profile says it was March 15, 2006, but yes, I do remember the day and knew it was in that general timeframe.  That was just over a week after my first viewing.

Did you immediately jump into conversations?

No.  I'm not normally a very talkative type, and I also had a hard time sorting out my own feelings about the movie.  So I stayed away from threads like "How Brokeback Affected Me."  That's probably why I didn't initially meet many of the people that I know now. 

Did you "lurk" for a while first, to see what people were saying?

Definitely.  I had been confused by some of the details of the film, and wanted to read other people's discussions of the nitty gritty, the nuts and bolts.  That's why I stayed in the Scenes and Themes sections, reading about bookends and Jack's character and Ennis's character, and the Scene at Jack's Parents, etc., etc.  I was very interested in other people's interpretations of what it meant and their opinions on how the film had been made.  I read some excellent commentary and felt that I didn't have a lot to add at that point.  Slowly, I began adding comments that amounted to "I agree with you on that," but I still didn't have a lot that I felt was worth adding.

One of the first places where I began to post more of my own ideas was in the Book Club thread, which was then led by Michael Flanagan.  I joined for the discussion of Larry McMurtry's "The Last Picture Show," still remembering that that book had been a favorite of my father's, which I had always intended to read.  And I participated in discussion of several other really good books, also.

Did your particpation here change your life or behaviors in any way?

In many ways!  I guess it started with the Brokie meetings.  I remember hearing about Auntie's BBQ in Texas in 2006, but I was hesitant to travel to meet a group of people that I didn't know, and I also (having had grandparents in Texas) knew it was HOT there in August, so I just never considered attendance there a possibility.  By now, I wish I'd gone, because I realize that that was where the first group of people really came together, and in some sense I will never be as much an "insider" as they are, in the bonds they share.

But I read all the positive reaction that came out of that Texas BBQ, and decided to take the plunge in 2007, by attending the Estes Park (Colorado) BBQ.  It would have been impossible to find a valid excuse not to, since I would be in Denver anyway visiting my mom.  I still told myself that I was mainly coming to meet Michael, because I knew him from the book club.  I had no idea that I would meet so many other wonderful people, or that this one gathering would lead to so many others.  And it was after this meeting that I found my way to the Diner, to keep in touch with people I'd met in Colorado.

Did you do new things for the first time that were related to the movie or this forum?

Many, some having to do with traveling.  Believe it or not, I had lived near Philadelphia for 30 years, and had always been afraid to go to New York City.  But when I realized that a "cluster" of Brokies lived up that way, I wanted to be part of their dinners and nights out in NYC.  The first time, I took the train, and stayed in the same NYC hotel as another woman who had been at the Colorado gathering.  There were several more dinners in NYC last year, but the train/hotel option got to be expensive, so I figured out (with the assistance of several other Brokies) a way to drive up to a cheaper hotel in North Jersey, drive in through the Lincoln Tunnel, and park in a garage in NYC.  That's something I never thought I would do, driving even three feet in NYC!

And of course, going to Oxford, England was totally new to me.  I'd never been to Europe, or out of the U.S. at all except to a business meeting in Canada once, where I went through customs with a coworker.  I really wanted to go to England, then got scared and almost backed out, except for some other Brokies who came to the rescue -- one to fly over on the same plane with me, another to be one of my roommates.

There were other things that I did for the first time, too...dancing at the hoedown in Colorado, attempting to do line dancing in NYC, seeing Beverly Hills and West Hollywood for the BBM screening this past summer, seeing Greenwich Village on the one hand and Rockefeller Center on the other hand while in NYC.  And while San Francisco certainly wasn't new to me, it's a city I love, and I saw parts of it (the Castro neighborhood and theater, City Hall, the Ferry Building) that were new.  Taking the ferry to Sausalito was a new experience.  Daring ( ) to attend a Slash Bash was definitely new.

You may also use this thread to discuss your favorite memories here.  You may talk about older posts, discussions, pictures, trips.

In addition to the above, I have some specific favorite memories.  Dancing with Chuck (when I didn't know how!) at the hoedown.  Meeting the couple, John and the other Chuck, who were celebrating their honeymoon in Estes Park, and then walking around Oxford, England with John a year later.  Laughing with Karen and Kelly on the night we first met Sue in NYC.  And of course, the wonderful luncheon that Jackie invited me to at her apartment in summer 2007, which was also attended by Fritz and Chuck and David, and Kim from France.  Meeting Ellen from the book club, last year in San Francisco.  Taking pictures of people sitting on pumpkins on the way back to the hotel from the Zoo, during the DC Slash Bash (and who can forget "The Ted Bed" at that Slash Bash, where we all crammed onto a hotel bed to watch a DVD of BBM).  Looking through John's telescope outside the lodge in Estes Park.  Being invited for Christmas at Linda's place outside San Francisco last year.  Making friends with Becca, a girl in Denver, and being able to go to movies and dinner with her whenever I'm in Denver to see my mother.  These are mostly memories from the gatherings, but from the online forum itself, one of my favorite parts has been Mia's delightful and unique smilies, and another favorite part has been Fritz's videos from various gatherings.

In general, I've made a lot of friends here, people whom I really like.  I notice two indirect effects also.  One is that my mother knows about many of these people, knows that some are gay, and is much more accepting of gay people than she used to be.  Two, I have become more open with other people, and find myself making casual conversation with strangers in real life, asking them questions whereas before I would have been the one in the corner thinking about the questions but never daring to ask.

I'll have to think about older posts and pictures, and may post some of them later.

[AHappyMan]

My profile says I joined July 16, 2006, but I must have lurked for about a month. I found the forum after seeing the movie on DVD. For the life of me, I couldn't understand Ennis' last line (Jack, I swear). It just sounded like a mumble.
Drove me crazy. What did he say??
So I went online looking for the script, googling around, and found the forum and the scene threads instead, which answered my question.

So, I came for the answer, but stayed for the questions. And that's how come me to end up here.

[Mule]

And of course, going to Oxford, England was totally new to me.  I'd never been to Europe, or out of the U.S. at all except to a business meeting in Canada once, where I went through customs with a coworker.  I really wanted to go to England, then got scared and almost backed out, except for some other Brokies who came to the rescue -- one to fly over on the same plane with me, another to be one of my roommates.

Wow, Debbie I hadn't realised this was your first long trip! And I thought I was being brave when I went to Oxford...  (and it was such a short trip for me - but then again, it was my first Brokie gathering so maybe I was being a little brave... )

[dejavu]

Thanks for those kind words!     Getting used to traveling can be hard for all of us, I think.

[BayCityJohn]

Do you remember how you found this forum?

Yes.  I read the article in the NY Times about the Variety Ad. I had been reading and posting on the Yahoo movie site thinking that that's where the real fans were. When I read the Times article, I came to the forum right away.



http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/13/business/media/13brokeback.html?_r=3&oref=slogin&oref=slogin



Do you remember the day you joined?

Of course. March 13, 2006.  I was at work. It was a monday afternoon when I found the forum.

Did you immediately jump into conversations?

Yes. I posted in the 'Frequent Flyer' thread first.

17 times so far. I hardly ever go to the movies but Brokeback got me good.

And I received a reply and welcome from someone called 'PaintedShoes'. I had no clue that she would become one of my best friends.

BayCityJohn, Welcome.  It's good to meet another fellow Brokeaholic.  I'm at #17 also.  Please feel free to roam around and share your comments on other sites.  New voices are always welcome.

Did you "lurk" for a while first, to see what people were saying?

Maybe for about 15 minutes.

Did your particpation here change your life or behaviors in any way?

Yes. I ended up moving from Michigan to California last year. That probably would not have happened if I hadn't made so many friends on the forum.

Did you do new things for the first time that were related to the movie or this forum?

Yes. I became an amateur event planner, and I started buying Brokeback memorabilia on Ebay

[killersmom]

Do you remember how you found this forum?

Yes I remember it very well. Really just like it was yesterday. I still can't believe it's been three years! I had heard about the film from "postcards" I got in DVD's I ordered from various sites. I read the synopsis and got very interested. I started Googling and got lots of links to trailers from all over the world. I also discover Dave's original Salon blog he started and just started to read. I never commented, just lurked. (Didn't learn this term until I joined the forum!)

Dave's beginning comments:

I thought it might be worth creating a little comments page to centralize the Brokeback commentary of people coming by here in one place. I'm not sure anyone but me is actually interested enough yet to comment, but once the movie starts approaching U.S. distribution in December, they will be.
Dave Cullen • 9/25/05; 10:45:12 PM #

http://rcs.salon.com/rcsComments/comments?u=1137&p=1685&link=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs.salon.com%2F0001137%2F2005%2F09%2F25.html%23a1685

Little did he know prophetic his words would be!


Do you remember the day you joined? 

During this time I read the blog, but looked up everything I could fine on the internet. I got the short story and read it, so I had kind of an outline as to what the story was going to be. That Christmas of 2005, I visited my son in Albuquerque, so I was traveling and visiting when the forum came into being on 12/22. On the day after Christmas I was in the spare bedroom of my son's house with my new laptop. I logged on, found the link to the forum from the blog, held my breath and joined. When I picked my screen name, I picked "killersmom". Killer is one of my dogs and I am his mom. And yes I did get a couple of pm's asking if I was the mom of someone in prison!

Did you immediately jump into conversations? 

I posted my first post an hour after I joined.

Did you "lurk" for a while first, to see what people were saying?

I saw the movie when it opened on January 8 and then had seen it 3 times by January 11. I lurked until Jan 11, and then started posting like a fiend.

Did your particpation here change your life or behaviors in any way? 

Yes. I had already started making changes in my life, but until I started posting here and getting to know people here, I had never really taken chances in my life. I started to travel. I had never really traveled alone. I flew to LA for the first time in March 2006 to meet gnash(Jimmy) and other Brokies who were going to see the movie together. It was a surprise as no one but Jimmy knew I was coming. I met 8 wonderful Brokies that night, and it was the first time I had seen the movie with those who were as affected as I was. And the rest as they say is history!

I continued to travel after that. To the Pacific Northwest, Oklahoma, New York City, England (my first time out of the country), Michigan, LA, San Francisco, Colorado. I organized a Backyard BBQ for 88 Brokies, and sold my house and moved half way across the country to live. So yes I guess one can say my participation here has changed my life and behaviors.

Did you do new things for the first time that were related to the movie or this forum?

Yes, as I explained above. This forum is the first forum I have ever been involved in. My becoming a moderator here. The movie was the first and only movie I have seen repeatedly. My traveling, the planning of the first get together, my moving, and the numerous Brokies who have visited since I moved to the West Coast.  And the best thing of all...........the wonderful people from all over the world whom I have had the great privilege to be able to call friends. Without this forum, I never would have had this opportunity.

[BayCityJohn]

If any of our silent members and/or lurkers would like to post something here I'd love to read it!

please remember you do not have to have joined the forum 3 years ago to participate in this thread.  This topic is open to everyone, whether you joined 3 years ago, 3 months ago, 3 weeks ago, or 3 days ago.

[BrokenOkie]

A little stroll down memory lane........

The earliest (surviving) forum post, authored by Dave, posted on 12/24/05:

This is the central discussion for ANYTHING related to brokeback, including the film, the book, the phenom.

SPOILERS ALLOWED.

(If you haven't seen the movie or read the book, you may want to participate in the spoiler-free zone, under the main Brokeback Mountain heading.)

To get up to speed through the first 50-odd threads in the old Salon-blogs system, see the archive at our main Brokeback Mountain site here:

http://www.davecullen.com/brokebackmountain/

(And we are looking for a volunteer to pull all 50-odd threads together into one file that people can browse/search easily.)

NOTE ON DUPLICATE POSTS:
In general, we ask that you not post the same message in two different threads. However, this thread is the exception. Because some people really like the single main thread, feel free to duplicate any message here and one other thread. (eg, you may want to post new box office info both in the thread dedicated to that, and also here.)

And the earliest surviving post by a member (Alex), also posted 12/24/05:

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=daily&id=brokebackmountain.htm

Here are the latest box office figures as of December 26, 2005.

Dave's original blog, where it all began:

http://rcs.salon.com/rcsComments/comments?u=1137&p=1685&link=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs.salon.com%2F0001137%2F2005%2F09%2F25.html%23a1685


Archive research courtesy of BayCityJohn.

[Nikki]

After I read the SS and saw the film, I knew this would be big.  I searched the 'net for comments and reviews and found the Forum.  I lurked for months, since I assumed the members would be primarily gay, and I didn't want to seem intrusive.  I learned this was not the case, so I joined in May 2006.

Don't remember who I first spoke to, but I think my initial participation involved the book club.

Have only met a handful of members in person this past summer at the Philly bash.  My last 5 yrs involved two trips to Ireland and one to Italy for the second time, so I don't think I'll meet too many members in the future, since traveling has become so expensive.  However, after over two yrs on the Forum, I feel like I know many members from interacting on various threads. I can almost tell who is who from reading their posts. I love the diversity of the membership and often just lurk on various threads for amusement. 

The Forum has introduced me to the gay community in ways I would never have expected, and I am profoundly grateful for this. Who would have thought a story and film would be so rewarding to one's life?  Just ask me!

[BayCityJohn]

Celebrating one year of Brokeback Mountain


How did you first find out about Brokeback Mountain?

I read about the film on a Queer As Folk website.

Had you read the story before you saw the movie?

I initially read it when it first appeared in the New Yorker, but RL interfered, and I "put it away."  I read it again, a dozen or more times, after reading the initial information I found about the film.

When was the first time you saw it?

December 15, 2005

How many times have you seen the movie?

Twenty-one times in the theater, 12 times on DVD, most recently on my anniversary date.

Did you get any people to go with you? How many?

Oh, yeah, a few.  Hmm...six.

Which character did you most identify with?

Probably a little of both Ennis and Jack...I certainly have characteristics of each in my personality.

What lesson/message did you get from the story/movie?

"Well, I won't..." settle for beans in this life, not anymore.

Where was your life when you first saw the movie? Where is it now?

I was working at a job that I hated, with little or no time for my family and friends, let alone for myself.  I quit the job, and have been re-connecting with all those people and things I had neglected, especially myself.

How did you first find the Dave Cullen Forum?

I was googling for anything I could find at all about the movie.  I found Dave's old blog back in August or September of last year.  I followed it to the new Forum when it opened.

When did you first join the forum?

After lurking from day 1, I finally joined on Jan 18th.

What made you join?

A post by Linda (killersmom). It helped me to realize that I could and should share my love for the film openly and with pride.

Do you remember your first post?

Oh, yes.  I felt so freed by the realization that there were others who felt as I did, who wanted to discuss the film and it's meaning for each of us.  Oh, and I said that I might not have much to say.   

[dejavu]

John, thank you so much for finding those words from Jackie.