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| | |-+  Bring your humor here.....an email I received today.....		 « previous next »
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Author Topic: Bring your humor here.....an email I received today.....  (Read 390927 times)
fritzkep
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Wie geht's, y'all?
« Reply #4770 on: July 25, 2012, 09:09:59 PM »
 Cheesy  Cheesy  Cheesy
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Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."
killersmom
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« Reply #4771 on: July 25, 2012, 09:12:09 PM »
I am still laughing about it Fritz!! Grin
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“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.”-Richard Bach
fritzkep
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Wie geht's, y'all?
« Reply #4772 on: July 27, 2012, 10:36:24 PM »
I think this was posted a while back.

Or am I getting forgetful?



1962 vs. 2012 (50 years later)

1962: Long hair
2012: Longing for hair

1962: KEG
2012: EKG

1962: Acid rock
2012: Acid reflux

1962: Moving to California because it's cool
2012: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1962: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2012: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1962: Seeds and stems
2012: Roughage

1962: Hoping for a BMW
2012: Hoping for a BM

1962: Going to a new, hip joint
2012: Receiving a new hip joint

1962: Rolling Stones
2012: Kidney Stones

1962: Passing the drivers' test
2012: Passing the vision test
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Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."
doodler
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« Reply #4773 on: July 28, 2012, 05:24:59 PM »
Hanz Merkel deplanes at Orly Airport and goes through Customs.

"Nationality?" the agent asks.

"German. " Hans replies.

"Occupation?" the agent asks.

"No, just here on vacation."
« Last Edit: July 29, 2012, 03:19:08 PM by doodler » Logged
Things can change in an instant so why not live truthfully?
Jason Collins
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« Reply #4774 on: July 29, 2012, 09:38:36 PM »
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Things can change in an instant so why not live truthfully?
Jason Collins
killersmom
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« Reply #4775 on: July 29, 2012, 09:49:05 PM »
Grin Grin Grin
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“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.”-Richard Bach
killersmom
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« Reply #4776 on: July 29, 2012, 10:34:49 PM »
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killersmom
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« Reply #4777 on: July 29, 2012, 10:35:16 PM »
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“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.”-Richard Bach
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I am a BBM groupie/junkie.
« Reply #4778 on: July 30, 2012, 07:05:28 AM »
Quote from: killersmom on July 29, 2012, 10:35:16 PM


welllllll-----the only thing I can say is that I have been in a similar situation once or so
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"maintain a more than usually creative relationship to reality" ( a quote from Land's End by Michael Cunningham)
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« Reply #4779 on: July 30, 2012, 09:21:39 PM »
A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud, 'Wow, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.  'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy.  'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational.He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

'DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!'
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Jason Collins
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« Reply #4780 on: July 30, 2012, 10:29:23 PM »
Thanks Sherri for an old classic that gave me a much needed laugh!
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Life is worth living fully. Live each moment like you are going to die tomorrow.
killersmom
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This is Killer, I'm his mom. I miss you.
« Reply #4781 on: July 30, 2012, 11:22:08 PM »
Quote from: maturben on July 30, 2012, 07:05:28 AM
welllllll-----the only thing I can say is that I have been in a similar situation once or so

Similarly, twice or thrice............ or so!! Roll Eyes
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“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.”-Richard Bach
CellarDweller115
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Hördy Fröggie
« Reply #4782 on: July 31, 2012, 07:20:06 PM »
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This is my hill to climb
fritzkep
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Wie geht's, y'all?
« Reply #4783 on: July 31, 2012, 07:22:07 PM »
 Cheesy  Cheesy  Cheesy
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Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."
CellarDweller115
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Hördy Fröggie
« Reply #4784 on: July 31, 2012, 07:24:31 PM »
Fritzie, I'm glad you had that on your facebook!  I laughed soooo hard!
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This is my hill to climb
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