Bring your humor here.....an email I received today.....

[michaelflanagansf]

I will but first I have to run to the store for some Lysol groceries.

I had actually heard about that use for lysol!  It's humorous and frightening at the same time!

[gnash]

omg. this sh*t cracked my sh*t up... maybe he was just going in to get some lysol...    mr. butterfingers.

[gnash]

[Bubo]

Toy Yoda!  That's terrible.

Okay, maybe I'm dense but I don't get the Ikea picture.  The only thing I can think of is M.C. Escher, but what would he have to do with Ikea bunk beds?

[gnash]

LOOK CLOSER!  lol..  at how the top and bottom are joined, i mean.

oh well, i tried.

[Bubo]

Oh, you're right!   The floating bedpost!  Or should I say, the corner that has no bedpost.  What would be worse, being on the top and collapsing or being on the bottom and knowing the whole thing is going to fall on you?

[maturben]

for those of you who are aware of the "scandal" re E. Spitzer, NYS Governor------


one of the reasons for his paying c. 5000 Yankee dollars for his little escapade with a prostitute is his wife's fault:


she's not a swallower; she's a Spitzer*


*this from young Matt (an absolutely charming, straight, 18 year old with whom I have the pleasure of working)

[Bubo]

^^^ 

[gnash]

^^ LOL @ new york humor bob! spitzer! hah! it helps to have a good name for a sex scandal..    fitzer woulda worked too..

bubo -- yeah, that escher bed is flipped out. i swear, once you crawl in you fall out then you hit your head on what's not there! just think how difficult it would be to coordinate with sleepwear. take them off, leave them on, is that a hole, out or in? what? 

some random visual funnies:

[fritzkep]

[gnash]

^^^ that's some tiara, fritz!

[gnash]

it had to happen...

[fritzkep]

From church bulletin bloopers. Some are old, but a few are new ones:

>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on Water.'
       The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
>> -------------------------------- --------------------------
>> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
      who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
>> ------------------------------ ----------------------------
>> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
      'Break Forth Into Joy.'
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
>> ------- -------------------------------------------
>> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>> ---------------------------------------- - ----------------
>> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
>> ---- -----------------------------------------------------
>> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
>> -------------------------------------------------
>> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>> ------------------------------------------ -- ------------ -
>> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
>> --------------------------------------------
>> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
>> ---------------------------------------------------- ------
>> The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan 
>>    Last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!
 

[gnash]

thanks fritz, those were all great, but this one got me giggling the most:

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

i guess the pastor is into electronic stimulation!

also liked the bean supper, lol.

[maturben]

Fritz----some of those church notices might actually increase attendance particularly if one has a prurient mind