Were they gay? (Jack & Ennis)

[Lola]

I think I would wait until if and when "the casual homophobic comments" were made and then I would address them. 

I would not go to my boss and discuss my sexuality unless there was a reason, wouldn't even dream of it.

I am sure gordonleo will come back and explain.

[cythera4]

I think I would wait until if and when "the casual homophobic comments" were made and then I would address them. 

I would not go to my boss and discuss my sexuality unless there was a reason, wouldn't even dream of it.

Why not?

[Lola]

I think I would wait until if and when "the casual homophobic comments" were made and then I would address them. 

I would not go to my boss and discuss my sexuality unless there was a reason, wouldn't even dream of it.

Why not?

Is this where I say "why not what?"

This is like "who's on first" LOL

[SquallCloud]

Coming out - in my mind - doesn't mean telling everyone in Creation. It just means being honest with yourself and those pertinent to the issue. I'm not saying that is what gordonleo did I just was trying to address the "Why not?" question. The why is the same reason why I don't tell my supervisor about the bone snapping orgasms I've had with male lovers. It's just not usually a work related discussion and there is no reason for the people you work with to know about your sex life. On the other hand I did come out in the course of an organic conversation and everyone was cool with it.

[Uclapeterg]

The why is the same reason why I don't tell my supervisor about the bone snapping orgasms I've had with male lovers. It's just not usually a work related discussion and there is no reason for the people you work with to know about your sex life.

Being a homo/bi/whatever is so much more than just sex.

[vertimus]

Squallcloud, that's how I handle myself too in that regard. I've written about it a lot here. To each his own, I strongly believe. I am not in the closet by any means but I don't wear a stwo--sided andwich board over my head advertising it either.

Homosexuals 'outing' other homosexuals or supected homosexuals is, I think, heinous.

[helen_uk]

Why not tell your boss? Is it something to be ashamed of? I think that was the import of the question. Also, it might be good for the work place to know so that one's coworkers can avoid making casual homophobic comments.

Because it has absolutely no relevance to my job or my ability to do my job.  I would no sooner tell my boss that I was bisexual than I would tell them any other personal information about myself that I wasn't required to.

And if I were a boss and one of my employees came to me and told me they were gay I'd be just as perplexed.  I wouldn't give a shit, and would wonder why they felt the need to tell me something that was so irrelevent to their job.

[cythera4]

Because it has absolutely no relevance to my job or my ability to do my job.  I would no sooner tell my boss that I was bisexual than I would tell them any other personal information about myself that I wasn't required to.

And if I were a boss and one of my employees came to me and told me they were gay I'd be just as perplexed.  I wouldn't give a shit, and would wonder why they felt the need to tell me something that was so irrelevent to their job.

I guess it depends on the job, boss, coworkers, etc. And on how important it is to you.

[vertimus]

Helen_uk, I'm with you 100%. I can think of very very few jobs in which it objectively impact one's ability to perform one's duties.

In America, however, we unfortunately tend to drag our whole lives into our workplace, because of that belief, which I don't subscribe to, that began in the 80s, that your coworkers are your 'family' or sustitute family due to all the time you spend together.

I don't buy that; my coworkers are my coworkers first and foremost, and I've, over almost 30 years in the workforce, only considered a hanful genuine friends. America has that whole 'tell all'  thing, and I don't buy into that either. I remain objective and at a certain remove. But, to each his own.

[helen_uk]

Coming out - in my mind - doesn't mean telling everyone in Creation. It just means being honest with yourself and those pertinent to the issue. I'm not saying that is what gordonleo did I just was trying to address the "Why not?" question. The why is the same reason why I don't tell my supervisor about the bone snapping orgasms I've had with male lovers. It's just not usually a work related discussion and there is no reason for the people you work with to know about your sex life. On the other hand I did come out in the course of an organic conversation and everyone was cool with it.

Vertimus:

Squallcloud, that's how I handle myself too in that regard. I've written about it a lot here. To each his own, I strongly believe. I am not in the closet by any means but I don't wear a stwo--sided andwich board over my head advertising it either.

Totally agree with your first comment, Squallcloud, and your second comment is how I have generally 'come out' when the subject has arisen.  You too vertimus.

[helen_uk]

I guess it depends on the job, boss, coworkers, etc.

Now we're back to my question, which was why?   

[Lola]

Because it has absolutely no relevance to my job or my ability to do my job.  I would no sooner tell my boss that I was bisexual than I would tell them any other personal information about myself that I wasn't required to.

And if I were a boss and one of my employees came to me and told me they were gay I'd be just as perplexed.  I wouldn't give a shit, and would wonder why they felt the need to tell me something that was so irrelevent to their job.

I guess it depends on the job, boss, coworkers, etc. And on how important it is to you.

Yea I suppose if you worked for Seymore Butts it may be an issue, but other than that........

[adamblast]

In my worklife it's always been something that everyone finds out about eventually, but only whenever it works its way into standard conversation.  Several more people found out in the past few days, in fact, when asking what I did over the weekend, due to this movie's wide release. 

[adamblast]

If you're not at the kind of job where people tend to know each other, then I'm not surprised.

But for most career jobs, I've found that people expect a passing familiarity with each other's family situations and home lives, enough to maintain the illusion that they are friends as well as co-workers.  For me to avoid saying I went shopping with my boyfriend, for example, is to acquiece to shame, to compulsory heterosexuality, and I won't do it anymore.

[vertimus]

adamblast, if that's what youre comfortable with, do it. No one is suggesting here, I think, that there's only one way to handle it. I see the same people every day and have for years. As I've said before, they either eventually get it or they don't. If someone asks me directly, depending who they are and how they ask and why, I tell them flat out. I'm not in the closet.