Caring for others with chronic illnesses

[conny]

i`m happy for your mom and you that you got a good day.
i had one too and it makes you forget the pain and sorrow for a while,doesn`t it?
i hope she stays ok for at least some time!

[brianr]

I am happy for you Nick. Unfortunately my Mum had her worst day ever yesterday. My sister has asked me to come down and help get her out of bed. She sounded dreadful (gasping for breath) on the phone last night. So I am writing this at 4.45am and will be on the 6am train. I am taking things in case I have to stay overnight. Please think of me I have hardly slept all night. I am in Australia so very different time zones

[Rob in Puyallup]

I am happy for you Nick. Unfortunately my Mum had her worst day ever yesterday. My sister has asked me to come down and help get her out of bed. She sounded dreadful (gasping for breath) on the phone last night. So I am writing this at 4.45am and will be on the 6am train. I am taking things in case I have to stay overnight. Please think of me I have hardly slept all night. I am in Australia so very different time zones

Brian... so sorry about Mom...

While my mother had cancer that eventually overtook her brain, my Dad had emphysema... combined with heart valve issues... too weak for the surgery to fix it.

In his final years and days he spent his time breathing oxygen through his concentrator with frequent treatments using a C-PAP machine to force air deeper into his lungs. Was on handfuls of drugs each day to help alleveate the pain, to help make breathing easier...

Mom, I'm thinking, wasn't aware of her final days while Dad was consciously aware of every moment.

I know it's very difficult what you're going through, Brian, wish I could add some comfort to your day... to help Mom relax.

Do know that there are many around here backing us who need it...

A gentle hug your way,
Rob

[Rob in Puyallup]

Nicky,

Sounds like Mom had a great day... in the warm weather Dad would spend time on the patio visiting with us while the birds flitted in the bushes, and the chipmunks scurried underfoot...

My love to you and Mom, Nick,
Rob

[conny]

Brian,my thought are with you and your mom,take care!!

[Nick_F]

I am happy for you Nick. Unfortunately my Mum had her worst day ever yesterday. My sister has asked me to come down and help get her out of bed. She sounded dreadful (gasping for breath) on the phone last night. So I am writing this at 4.45am and will be on the 6am train. I am taking things in case I have to stay overnight. Please think of me I have hardly slept all night. I am in Australia so very different time zones

Hugs to you and Mum, Brian!

Nick

[brianr]

Thanks for the thoughts and hugs. Have spent a long day with Mum. The physiotherapist came who specialises in lung disease. We will now use the wheelchair to take Mum from chair to bed each day, Also showed us how to ease our backs especially with lifting commode and even a simple thing like leaning across her to get a glass of water for her better to go round to that side.  I had a back operation 3 years ago so must be careful and while only a young 62  my sister is 10 years older. She spent last night on the couch but I made Mum promise she would ring my sister when she wants to get up during the night so she can sleep in her own bed ( next door unit - apartment). Mum was quite sick all morning perhaps from the morphine but slept most of the afternoon. A long day for me as it is 2 and a half hours in train each way. I drive on Sundays (hour and quarter) but petrol is so dear and being a senior I get cheap rail fare.
Thanks again

[Nick_F]

Thanks for the thoughts and hugs. Have spent a long day with Mum. The physiotherapist came who specialises in lung disease. We will now use the wheelchair to take Mum from chair to bed each day, Also showed us how to ease our backs especially with lifting commode and even a simple thing like leaning across her to get a glass of water for her better to go round to that side.  I had a back operation 3 years ago so must be careful and while only a young 62  my sister is 10 years older. She spent last night on the couch but I made Mum promise she would ring my sister when she wants to get up during the night so she can sleep in her own bed ( next door unit - apartment). Mum was quite sick all morning perhaps from the morphine but slept most of the afternoon. A long day for me as it is 2 and a half hours in train each way. I drive on Sundays (hour and quarter) but petrol is so dear and being a senior I get cheap rail fare.
Thanks again

Well friend it is clearly very tough for you at the moment. My thoughts are with you, as your current position is likely to be my future

My Mum, even when having a really bad time, will struggle to the toilet/commode and the exertion of doing that is very telling. So fortunately I have curerntly little lifting to do, although like you I have back problems and would find having to do that very difficult, should that time come.

As I live with Mum, and I have a full time job, it can be very difficult and stressful, keeping things ok for her and having any sort of a life of my own and keeping the house running and clean. But at least I do not have your travelling to contend with.

I hope the new day is better for all of you!!

[Rob in Puyallup]

Thanks for the thoughts and hugs. Have spent a long day with Mum. The physiotherapist came who specialises in lung disease. We will now use the wheelchair to take Mum from chair to bed each day, Also showed us how to ease our backs especially with lifting commode and even a simple thing like leaning across her to get a glass of water for her better to go round to that side.  I had a back operation 3 years ago so must be careful and while only a young 62  my sister is 10 years older. She spent last night on the couch but I made Mum promise she would ring my sister when she wants to get up during the night so she can sleep in her own bed ( next door unit - apartment). Mum was quite sick all morning perhaps from the morphine but slept most of the afternoon. A long day for me as it is 2 and a half hours in train each way. I drive on Sundays (hour and quarter) but petrol is so dear and being a senior I get cheap rail fare.
Thanks again

Brian,

I remember Dad having issues with Morphine, too. Nausea and loose stools. Wasn't very pleasant for him...

Dad also had several serious bouts of pneumonia (I guess any pneumonia while in his condition could be considered serious...) his last year or so. Only antibiotic strong enough to get rid of it was imported into the States via Sweden, I believe. Without insurance a dose would cost over $1000.00 according to my step mother...

Dad was 74 when he died, Mom 72. I'm currently 46. I expected the two of them to live much longer...

[brianr]

Dad also had several serious bouts of pneumonia (I guess any pneumonia while in his condition could be considered serious...) his last year or so. Only antibiotic strong enough to get rid of it was imported into the States via Sweden, I believe. Without insurance a dose would cost over $1000.00 according to my step mother...
Dad was 74 when he died, Mom 72. I'm currently 46. I expected the two of them to live much longer...

Fortunately here in Australia, drugs are almost free for pensioners ($4.50 for first 50 scripts per year then free).  Even I have them go down to $4.50 after I have spent about $800 in the year (usually in mid-August).  I take 4 tablets every day for blood pressure, cholesterol and hiatus hernia. I have to wait another 3 years before I  get a senior's health card
My sister has rung to say Mum did ring for her at 3am so she was able to sleep in her own bed but she did have trouble getting her out of the chair and into her bed last night.
While I am grateful to have had Mum for so long (she is almost 97- Dad went at 66) it is terrible to watch her suffering with no meaningful life now. All we can do is cuddle her and show how much we love her and try to support her.

[Rob in Puyallup]

You're very blessed that Mom's been there for you all these years, Brian, do cuddle and comfort her, she's blessed to have you and Sis.

Hang tight, bud,

a hug,
Rob

[Bubble Wrap]

Heya all...I've known about this place for a while, but just posting now.  Still have not gathered all my storys together from the time I have spent caring for nan.  But still, I will eventually, and feel free to ask about it if you like, I don't mind!

[flemishgirl]

Heya all...I've known about this place for a while, but just posting now.  Still have not gathered all my storys together from the time I have spent caring for nan.  But still, I will eventually, and feel free to ask about it if you like, I don't mind!

I've just found out about this thread! There's something for everybody on this amazing site! I'm looking after a sick mother, wheelchair bound after two strokes. But this forum is just such a help. Not that, as I say, I've ever been on this bit of it before. But the rest ( I seem to live on Symbolism and Imagery in BBM mostly) is just such damn useful escapism, both intelligent and fun. Boy do we need that in our situation.

[Nick_F]

Mother In hospital again - urgggh!

I know it isn't going to get any better, but a bit of respite would be nice!!!!

rant over

[desertrat]

rant over

that was a short one   

nick, i hope your mum will get better soon. of course, ultimately, she won't be completely good ever again. but some relief for her (and for you) would be wonderful. just to take a deep breath again.