Caring for others with chronic illnesses

[tonydude]

 I haven't been posting here, but I have tryed to keep up, and I wish everybody going through these troubles all the encouragement in the world.  My own agoraphobia dates back to the illness and death of both parents, some 25 years ago, so I do very strongly react and empathize to caring for those that are ill, and also grieving.  It's just that sometimes I don't know what to say.
 I do remember, though, from helping with hospice care, some small but important helps for the loved one:

* Sometimes they need color in their room.  Not flowers, but color in the form of art prints, plants, or even photos of dogs and nature, etc., taken from magazines, and taped to the wall.

* towards the end, most hospices suggest music therapy with the person's favored music by headphones. But it should be what they want to hear.  If they are too depressed to choose, their loved ones should try to remember what they liked.  Often the family must do this, themselves.

* it's extremely important to include the ill person into choices and decisions, over food, clothing, and day-to-day matters.  Too often, they can have further sadness from feeling powerless, and no further ability to be a part of life, if every choice is made for them.  Just the smallest matters, referred to them, can make them feel still functioning and able to relate to the world.

Again, I wish everyone going through the troubles, strength, courage, and love.

[fritzkep]

Oh, that's for sure. When I'm there I frequently have the TV on to TCM, and when they play movies from way back when, especially musicals, she reacts very favorably, moving and dancing in her chair. Of course, that was before her most recent hospitalization.

[tonydude]

 Am glad there are some good days for your Mom, Fritz.  And have hopes for all the others in these times, which we will all face, sooner or later.  Am hoping for the best for everyone that has posted here !

[mcnell1120]

Never a dull moment...never


I have to add this note to this thread...

Even though my dad is battling colon cancer....we still are waiting for results of his cat scan from last Wednesday..btw..

last Thursday night at 9 pm ,my dad was watching TV...he hears a noise at the front door...he peeks out the window and see's a guy who looks like my 24 yr old nephew...gets up opens the door,turns on the porch light....it wasn't my nephew...it was a punk with his 2 buddies trying to break in...he manages to open the storm door but my dad tried holding it shut...couldn't...so instead he grabs the guy by the wrist with his other hand grabs him by the neck and throws him down the cement stairs...the other 2 guys run...my dad loses balance and falls down the stairs with this punk,lands on top of him...before the guy was able to get up my dad throws him a good punch to the face!!!

you believe this shit!!??

THANK the good Lord in heaven ,these punks didn't gang up on him,didn't stab or shoot him,didn't get in the house!!  my mom was running out,didn't see all the commotion... was screaming because she saw blood everywhere...my dad scrapped his leg badly on the steps...she didn't know if he was stabbed or what...neighbor is a retired cop...calls the cops...a big mess...

One of the cops that was there taking the report was shocked at how strong and brave my dad was...found out he was a Marine...the cop was a Marine and together they say "Once a Marine ,always a Marine!! "

I love it

but still....it's just crazy...my dad needs to think before he plays Superman...God bless him though....I hope he fights this cancer like he fought these thugs!!

[morrobay]

Wow, sounds like a tv show!

Thank God he's ok...and that same strength and courage will no doubt help him in his fight against that damn cancer.

[suelyblu]

                                                                       ^^^^

This is the thing isn't it....no matter how old or frail you may be....it's human nature to fight back. He may have fallen down Nell...but at that moment I bet he felt 20 again !! Enough is enough now.Tell him to take it easy and to put all that energy into fighting this illness that has cast such a shadow over him and over all of you.Thinking of you .

[kathy]

**Ditto.**

kathy   

[dahlia]

while you all are praying for mothers, think of my mother as well. 

((((Jack))))

[dahlia]

* it's extremely important to include the ill person into choices and decisions, over food, clothing, and day-to-day matters.  Too often, they can have further sadness from feeling powerless, and no further ability to be a part of life, if every choice is made for them.  Just the smallest matters, referred to them, can make them feel still functioning and able to relate to the world.

Yes, this sounds very sensible and important.

[suelyblu]

I know we don't know him ...but lets all pray for Robin Gibb. That family has had so much unhappiness.

[mcnell1120]

My dad goes for his surgery this Thursday...please keep him in your prayers

[Cally]

My dad goes for his surgery this Thursday...please keep him in your prayers

Thoughts and prayers for your dad and all your family, Nellie.

[CellarDweller115]

Sending up prayers for him, darlin'!  Please keep us posted!

[dejavu]

My dad goes for his surgery this Thursday...please keep him in your prayers

Oh, Nellie, will do that for sure.

[fritzkep]

Definitely, Nellie.