How Brokeback affected me

[carlton]

I really have never uttered a word to any friend or family memeber about BBM as I always felt they had no desire to see it at all or just wouldnt be interested in it- But the other day I was talking to a friend and he was talking about getting older and family was far away and wondered what to do and where to live once retired- He thought a good idea woud be  that a group of friends who are alone and away from family might just  try to live close together so we can all  rely on each other. Then I said - ever since I saw BBM I always was afraid to end up like Ennis Del Mar- all alone in some  godforsaken empty place in a run down mobile home with no friends or family very close- I said that scene and of course others made me so depresssed- I thought he would say something like I never saw the movie or why would you see that movie- but instead he just stated he saw the movie and he felt depressed for a couple of days afterwards- So the conversation stopped there as I didnt want to get into my PBS which still exists- but it was good to finally find out that a friend of mine actually saw the movie and was affected by it -well at least for a couple of days-

[Ellen (tellyouwhat)]

Welcome, Miral!

In answer to your earlier question -- I think it's true that hardly any of us know any Brokie's in our own lives, among friends or even lovers -- and have had to turn to this board.  But because of this board, we know there are thousands of us, and that our reaction to the story is universal in some sense.

Hi there:

First, to Johnny X: I can't believe we have so much in common. Both partners with skin diseases? You'll have to explain how I can send a private message so I can ask you more about that.

you need to make a certain # of posts before you can PM.  give it a try.

How do I get to the captions thread?

photocaptions?  Go to the main Forum board (Davecullen.com/forum) and scroll down the page to "Laughs and Light stuff".  You should see a thread for photocaptioning fun.

1. What made Jack decide one day, four years later, to come visit Ennis? If this was discussed elsewhere, I missed it. I see no clue in movie or story.

well -- in my humble opinion -- it was because he had done his best trying to make a life for himself, he had married into money, had an excuse to get out of bull riding, and had the life-changing experience of having a child, then realized-- wow, this is really it.  None of these things matches the time with Ennis.  So for himself, no matter what Ennis' reaction, he had to find out.  Plus, he had waited long enough so that even Ennis was ticked off (in the story) "I didn't know where in the hell you WAS"  Ennis could certainly not accuse Jack of chasing after him.  It was time.

But hey, don't take my word for it --

go to scenes -- the Reunion

or Elements and Themes -- the character Analysis of Jack Twist.  ask your questions there.

2. Is it a coincidence, or good filmmaking, that just like that first year on the mountain abruptly ended with the cool, killing frost, that Jack's final exit (speak of killing and cold, here) also abruptly ended the relationship? My major in college was Communication, Radio, TV, Film.  I wrote papers on things like framing and off-screen space in Klute. Analyzed Citizen Kane. I've always loved deconstructing films and good TV shows. A hobby my hubby and I have together--we majored in the same thing though he's in a technical field (I am a writer, but please don't make any jokes about my spelling). I appreciate BBM on that level as well as the story itself.

I doubt it is a coincidence.  Many here think there are no coincidences, although I wouldn't go that far! 

There are differences between the film and the story.  If you are interested in examining the film, you should spend some time in Scenes.  It's okay to ask your questions about the scenes, even though it's been discussed before people are happy to answer.

3. I don't care what anyone says. In SNIT, Jack says BOTH "I'm sorry" and "It's all right." The voice is Jakes both times, and we see a close shot of Ennis' mouth and it clearly isn't forming those words. I'm assuming that the "I'm sorry" is for initiating the whole thing and putting Ennis' emotions and self-image, etc. through the wringer, and the "It's all right" means "It's ok to be here with me, even though I can see you're so conflicted.

Well, friend, I agree it's Jack's voice three times, but I think he said "s'all right, s'allright, s'all right" -- you are welcome to your opinion!  I don't think he was sorry for anything at all.  but go on to the Second Night in the Tent thread and state your opinion there.  You will find others who agree with you.

5. I was thinking that perhaps somehow, we all have the feeling that if we talk about this enough, somehow we'll get some kind of happy ending out of it, or at least the ending won't hurt so much.

LOL at one point nobody knew how long it would take, but in fact I would say it takes about a year and half to find peace!   

Don't fight it! 

6. Another thing I find incredibly interesting is just how people like Heath can do what he does--inhabit a man so fully with just a squint of his eye. Or how Jake can learn that "cowboy walk" I notice when he comes out of the truck at the reunion. I could go on here with examples, but you know what I mean. When a person is at this level of acting, during the scenes together do you suppose they must concentrate on ACTING or it's better to put the technique behind and get more into the scene? Does a person need to harken back to what arousal feels like when playing being aroused, or is it a matter of putting together a technical plan and unraveling it when the camera's on?

Both Heath and Jake said they didn't know what Ang wanted from them, and they were completely frustrated with his direction, but somehow he got these amazing performances from them.  Heath talked about it in an interview with Charlie Rose, which is available from Amazon and maybe some Heath fans know of another link.

Go to Planet Heath with this question!

6. I got into this just recently when I saw the DVD. When did the rest of you start with this board? Since 2005 when the film came out? After the DVD? You know, I will never see this movie on the big screen. Too little, too late. But at least I can have the hi def, the big screen, and the slow-motion button.

The movie will be shown on the big screen in San Francisco on September.

Also next summer in Los Angeles, but we don't have the date yet.


Welcome!

[Art]

4. Question for all you gay guys here. Obviously J and E are not the kind of people to obsessively discuss their relationship (unlike us). But do today's gay male couples discuss their relationship with the same kind of energy that a woman would? Obviously everyone is different. I am more wondering that when you take a woman out of a relationship, along with her propensity to talk, talk, talk about her feelings and your feelings and her feelings about your feelings--what happens? If a J and E type of encounter occurred today, would you and your partnergo on about what happened FNIT, how Ennis felt about it, his identity now, why Jack grabbed his hand, where this relationship was going, who felt more love for whom, whether they felt love or lust, how often each thought of the other when they were apart (post reunion here) and on and on? Curious minds.....

Hi Miral,

This is an interesting question. Research about the amounts of words men and women speak is ambiguous: some researchers found that men speak far less than women but others found that it depends on the subject. I think that that is true: men tend to speak less about feelings and more about practical things. As a gay man I went though the same frustrating but beautifully process as E&J: experiencing that you love a man, while you were raised to love a woman. The intimacy between my first boyfriend and me that led to 'more' was created by talking about how we perceived life, what our expectations were, our fears etc. This brought us closer and closer together. But after we experienced romance and sex, things became difficult to discuss. Because of the denial of our homosexuality (as E&J) this part became undiscussable. We were to find a girlfriend, marry, get children and get happy. And this thing we had was totally exclusive between us, meant nothing and would pass. And that closed all possibilities for reflections of what it meant, and how we felt under it.
In my current over 30 year relationship, we talk a lot, in fact we always talk. But I think you would call it men-talk: practical things, observations, tastes, etc. but hardly ever about deep feelings. We (at least I) don't miss that, it is just that I feel that those things don't have to be discussed, because they are understood. After 30 years, you know a lot about this guy, you know....

Art

[Miral]

Hi there.

Now I can't find the post that gave the link to BBM slash stories. I have the link, but that person said that there was a great story that someone could send me. Does anyone have that story and can you send it to me? And how does that work?

[CellarDweller115]

Hello everyone!

Just a reminder that this thread is to discuss how Brokeback affected you.

It is not the place for scene by scene disucssions, or what characters said what, or reqests for links.


I'm at work now, so my time is short, I will provide links to thread where you can go to discuss the topics that have been mentioned here.

Please go back to the topic at hand, which is how Brokeback affected you.


Thank you.

[mcnell1120]

All I can say is this.....I'm glad Brokeback kicked my ass to reality...I still can't believe I was living my life as I once was....can't believe how negative I was and how easily I gave up on things,including my life!!  I can't believe that I never thought twice about making decisions that would affect my whole life!! Never once thought that I was affecting others lives by my stupid decisions...can't even believe that on my downest times I wanted to end my life and take the easy way out....I had a few hours to think about all this the other day...was reflecting on this whole year...again. Was sitting under a tree in Lake Geneva,Wisconsin this past weekend...looking at the beautiful water and the gorgeous sky...watching my kids play in the water and fishing...hearing the laughter around me and the family interactions...the hugs and the I love you's...ugh!!  What was I thinking?...this is so great!! I was so blinded..taking life for granted...not realizing that I had it all right in front of me. ...So easily said huh....but it ain't easy...life is never easy. This movie made me realize all this...my friends here...the whole package!

I no longer ask myself when will I get over this movie,when will it fade?....I was walking down the rocky pier,hearing the water splash and thought of our Jack and Ennis as they sat by the water,talking...washing their plates in the stream..arguing...got a lot of flash backs this weekend. Made my heart ache something bad. Started missing my friends from this Forum,the one's I've met...*sigh*

I really hope you all have found some form of peace...I really hope that your lives have all changed for the better..or still changing. Was thinking about all you folks in here....hoping you're all doing good..and keeping you all in my prayers.It will always be like this, just like this..

Nellie

[john john]

Thanks for the beautiful report Nellie!
I'm so happy you're happy! My life hasn't changed as much as yours has but I'm doing fine, things are strutting along.
I'm still seeking change but I'm not as freaked out about it as I once was.
I'm in a good place....for the moment

Hugs

JJ

[CellarDweller115]

Hello Brokies!

This post is to let you know that the "How Brokeback Affected Me--Continued" thread has been started.

We are asking that all new conversations be taken to that thread, which you can find at the link below.

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=23626.0

However.....

for the next 2-3 weeks, this thread will remain unlocked.  If there is a post here that you wish to quote to continue an exisiting conversation, you are free to do so.

[/size]

[JohnnyX]

Hello Brokies!

This post is to let you know that the "How Brokeback Affected Me--Continued" thread has been started.

We are asking that all new conversations be taken to that thread, which you can find at the link below.

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=23626.0
...

Hello Chuck.
Could you please explain a few things to me about this.

First: you provide no REASON for this change.
Might it be because this thread is too large by now, and therefore it is NECESSARY technologically to move to a new one? Or is there some other reason?

Second: you mention that this thread will soon be "locked".
What does that mean please?
For example: does it ONLY mean that at that time no more POSTS can be made here?
Or does it also mean that we might not be able to go into and copy postings from there etc.
Understanding this is important to me, because when people ask me about "my" BBM history, I can easily just provide them with the hyperlink to my postings in Affected, and they can read it all there for themselves. So would that still be available to us all, please?

Please forgive me if my questions sound very basic to you; but as I do not read on many other threads anymore, I have never encountered this sort of thing, nor this sort of terminology before; and so I feel that I am in an unknown space.

JohnnyX.

[CellarDweller115]

Hello Chuck.
Could you please explain a few things to me about this.

First: you provide no REASON for this change.
Might it be because this thread is too large by now, and therefore it is NECESSARY technologically to move to a new one? Or is there some other reason?

Second: you mention that this thread will soon be "locked".
What does that mean please?
For example: does it ONLY mean that at that time no more POSTS can be made here?
Or does it also mean that we might not be able to go into and copy postings from there etc.
Understanding this is important to me, because when people ask me about "my" BBM history, I can easily just provide them with the hyperlink to my postings in Affected, and they can read it all there for themselves. So would that still be available to us all, please?

Please forgive me if my questions sound very basic to you; but as I do not read on many other threads anymore, I have never encountered this sort of thing, nor this sort of terminology before; and so I feel that I am in an unknown space.

JohnnyX.

Hello JohnnyX.

Don't apologize for asking questions, it's not a problem.

When threads become very long, they are "archived", becoming "read only" and a new thread for the same topic is started.  There is no way that we would remove or delete this thread from the forum, the stories here are too touching and important for that.

You can still provide other people a link to the original thread, and they will be able to read all the posts that are here.

When a thread is "locked" it means that no new posts can be added, so it won't get any longer.  If there is an old post here that you wanted to access, you would be able to use "copy" and "paste" to access the text.

Hope that answered your questions.  If you need more info, feel free to PM me!

Catch ya later!

[retropian]

Hi. I'm curious about your friends reaction to the film. Her reaction to our little book was pretty strong from your description. How did she like the movie?
thanks, Ian