How Brokeback affected me

[Erik]

Absolutely right hayek_uk, otherwise the BBM experience is a worthless plunge into self pity leaving us where society as a whole wishes we would remain.

DaveinPhilly

True, personally i have a feeling quite contrary to plunging into self pity. For the first time in my life i feel the need to DO something, to be more activist? don't know yet... Uptil now i always thought to be gay is something personal.. but i realize that i do share something important with many people...

Don't think that Dave will ever close this forum! He's to obsessed himself.. i hope...

[jakelikethat]

i ain't goin' nowhere.

my email and msn messenger details are in my profile.  i also have a livejournal, if people use that service.   i'd be happy to friend y'all.

(dang.  i like this accent.  maybe i should move to texas?)

[danac]

I'm sooooo glad some of you want to keep in touch...oooeeee,yeah!
What happens to our profiles if Dave dismantles the site??
Then what?

Who's going to the BBQ in August?

[BayCityJohn]

Our local paper, the Bay City Times,  published my response to a forum letter that was printed 2 weeks ago. I have never written to a newspaper before.
 
The guy was calling for a boycott of Brokeback so that Hollywood would get the message that the people of Bay County won't tolerate these movies being forced on them. He hadn't seen the movie and refused to ever see it.
 
He also praised 'Walk The Line' as a much better movie.
 
He made a point of the fact that he used all lowercase letters for 'hollywood' and 'oscar'.
 
I wish I would have taken a little more time on my reply but I was mad and sent my reply right away. Didn't really think it would get published.
 
This is my reply published today:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Voice: John Trudell, Bay City

In reply to ''Movie choices'' by Jerry Mueller, Kawkawlin, in the March 7 People's Forum:

I have to agree somewhat with Mr. Mueller's comments. If you are offended by certain subjects, it's best to avoid them. But when you have no idea what the subject is, you should learn about it before you speak.

I have seen both ''Brokeback Mountain'' and ''Walk the Line.'' Both are great films. ''Brokeback Mountain'' deserved every Oscar (specifically uppercase) nomination it received, and ''Walk the Line'' should have received more, including Best Picture.

Mr. Mueller assumes that ''Brokeback'' ''endorses'' a certain lifestyle. There is no such agenda in the film. The only thing it promotes is love and honesty. This movie makes it very clear what happens to people when these things are denied and hidden.

I could tell people that ''Walk the Line'' promotes adultery and drug abuse. There is plenty of that in the movie. However, I have seen the movie and I know better.

I wonder if Mr. Mueller would have boycotted ''The Passion of The Christ'' (specifically uppercase) because it ''endorses'' crucifixion as a legitimate form of capital punishment.

It's a little late for a boycott. Hollywood (specifically uppercase) already got the message and replied with three Oscars (uppercase).

http://www.mlive.com/news/bctimes/index.ssf?/base/news-0/114304421582870.xml&coll=4&thispage=2

[Erik]

The provincial government of Alberta has a very nice website with ALL the information about the exact locations where the movie was shot...you can really see everything, from the trailer where they took their jobs from Aguirre to the river where they jumped from the rock, everything really..

So what would you guys prefer to see, Alberta with everything from the movie or better go to Wyoming where it 'really' happened?............

[mountain boy]

Just to make sure - have y'all noticed that there are plans for a get-together at killersmom's place on August 11-13?

[paintedshoes]

That's right, wdj.  I am one of her contacts.  Please pm me for details.  Also, go to this address:

http://davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=1701.0

for some info.

Hope to see many of you there.

[Christina]

Omigod...I just had this horrible thought: what if this obsession dies down, and Dave takes this site away..and all you guys are lost to me forever?
Honestly, I think I'd go mad - I've already crossed from fandom to obsession and I would surely go off the deep end if I didn't have this refuge!

Oh my G-d!!! I never even thought of that. Banish the thought. I would die. I hope this site lasts as long as the memory of Jack and Ennis. It should be like this, just like this, always.
-- Pooh

Well....with that said...we better get each others e-mails and phone#'s then..........

Wouldn't that be great if this forum just builds momentum?  With the DVD release, the friendships made, and the August get-together, there will be even more moments to share and discuss.  Sometimes the thought of this whole experience ending, perhaps down the road, really confuses me.  Should I take what I've learned and better my life and not look back?  Or should I embrace this forum until its last dieing day?  I need my 'life' back, but a lot of the times I don't want it back!  It's changed the way I view most of my relationships, so I know it will always hold significance in my life.  But exchanging emails and phone numbers is always a good thing!

[jakelikethat]

well, i can't be there because i'm in canada.   hahaha

but i'll be there in spirit.  and maybe you can get on the computer and im the people who aren't there??   *hee*

alberta rocks.  wish i lived there.  (stuck here in boring ontario, bah)

wyoming has a similar landscape, does it not?  i know nothing of wyoming.  but it is where annie set the original story, so i think wyoming should benefit from "bbm tourism" as much as alberta.  also, wyoming is where poor matthew shepard was from.

[Garry_LH]

I'm sooooo glad some of you want to keep in touch...oooeeee,yeah!
What happens to our profiles if Dave dismantles the site??
Then what?

Who's going to the BBQ in August?

Do any of you grasp just what the weather in Texas in August is like?  I think I'm gonna mozy around Wyoming a bit this summer and take in the feel of where the story is set.
Garry... the fighting to maintain my hermit status

[BayCityJohn]

The provincial government of Alberta has a very nice website with ALL the information about the exact locations where the movie was shot...you can really see everything, from the trailer where they took their jobs from Aguirre to the river where they jumped from the rock, everything really..

So what would you guys prefer to see, Alberta with everything from the movie or better go to Wyoming where it 'really' happened?............

I would love to see both. Probably Alberta first, but Yellowstone and Grand Teton shouldn't be missed.

[couzins43]

couzins43 - if you feel you need therapy, don't let me stop you; but it looks like what you really need - apart from more time on this forum, which is cheaper than therapy for a start - is to come out of the closet more. I know that can be difficult and that, more than that, it can be daunting; but there really is no better alternative I know of. First and foremost, coming out is about your attitude towards yourself. Try being more accepting of yourself, get angry at all the rubbish you have to put up with just for who you love - not all anger is bad, as long as you don't let it fester - let it energise you instead. This film has been a doorway to long-suppressed emotions for many on this forum (and many more besides, I'm sure). If you've read much on this particular thread, you'll know just how much of an impact it's had on so many lives. I suggest you take advantage of this. I don't know your circumstances, so I can't advise what you should do in any detail, but anything you can do to reduce the extent to which you have to suppress your own feeling would be good - no matter how big or small.

That's just my two pence.

Thanks for you and all others for their encouraging comments. My message was brief and could have been worded better, but I was in a very bad state that day. I can so associate to Ennis’s character – unable to give in to his true feeling because of his circumstances and the time period/culture. I grew up in an extremely conservative Cuban family, so I can relate to Ennis’s comments about being caught at the wrong place and wrong time. So denial and work have been my refuge throughout the years. After seeing BBM several time, the realization of my loneliness and longing for love and companionship overwhelmed me. Coming to terms with being gay has not been easy for me – not that anyone said it would be – but after so many years of denial, my emotions were (are) running ramped to the point that it consumes me. I believe I’ve hit rock-bottom now and am ready to start the process of getting out and move on with my life. The demons are at the gate and wanting to be set free…

I agree this is something I can’t get out of my system and therapy was more of tongue-in-cheek comment. I’ve tried it, but never followed through. When it reached a point when the truth was coming out – I stopped. I just couldn’t deal with it. I know that now. What I think I was trying more so to convey was that I need to get this overwhelming feeling of sadness out of my system. I’m so grateful to have found this forum to let it out on. The comments are much appreciated. You mentioned that I need to get angry for all the rubbish I have to put up with. Well, I’m almost there… But I’m more angry at myself for not allowing myself to be myself (too many myselfs?), let alone not allowing others to get close to me. So much time and energy wasted. I’m hoping this anger will soon pass so I can just get on with it. I am determined to get out now and to find my Jack. I imagine you will see me on this forum from time to time, hopefully with my heart intact.

Thanks for being there…

[Christina]

Just popping in to say hello!  Looks like there is a ton going on but I have no time to read. Just wanna let you know that the job is going good - like learning another language!!  All the rest is well. I'll try to get on later this week to chat. Talk to you all later!

Nick

Hey Nick,
I missed your post yesterday!  So glad to hear you are surviving the first few days of your new job.  Thanks for checking in and keeping us posted on how you're doing!

Hugs from Portland,
Christina

[Brokaholic]

Help me, people...

I've been lurking at this site since January.  I've never seen BBM, though I have sooooo wanted to..  This is my story: I'm a 52 year old gay guy.  I've been with my partner for 25 years.  He's has clinical despression and cannot tolerate things that are very sad.  I knew we wouldn't be seeing BBM together in a movie theater.  I've gone many times myself to movies that he wasn't interested in or couldn't tolerate, so I figured I'd go myself.

I  told him I really needed to see this in the theater before I see it on DVD (which I've already ordered via this forum's website link) since it is history in the making! The big screen... the sound system, etc. He's fine with that, but now MY PROBLEM:
I get very attached to characters I relate to and can get very emotional.  I can barely read your posts without tears welling up... or actual out-and-out sobs. The last movie I really saw was the Ring trillogy... and I got so emotional with the scenes between Sam and Frodo... where Sam shows such love and devotion for Frodo. Silly, huh?  I've grown so close to BBM's Jake and Enis  (and to you all)... that I'm afraid of seeing this in the theater.  Its already left my local movie theater 15 miles away.  Thursday (3/23) is the last day its playing in a theather 50 miles away.  I've grown so close to these characters through your posts, seeing clips, and fan tributes on YouTube,  (plus the 100+ Megabytes of pics of Jake and Heath I've accumulated!) that I'm afraid I won't get through it without breaking out into loud crying!  My only solice is that anyone in the theater at the 1:30 pm Wednesday showing at this late stage of the game will either be retired elderly folk or else understanding Brokebackaholics wanting to see it one last time.

Should I go see it....and probably make a fool of myself crying out loud... or just wait for the DVD and see it at home?

John

OH John,
 Do not rob yourself of this experience! I know I am a brokaholic so my advice is very very very biased. I am sure the DVD will be OK but seeing Jack and Ennis on that huge screen; up close so that it is almost as if you are right there beside them is a priceless experience. I remain in awe of this movie. I really do hope you go and see it and write us your take on it
Cheers

[paintedshoes]

Dear John, I could not agree more with Brokaholic.  SEE IT on the big screen.  There is nothing like this experience.  I felt as you did about the LOTR trilogy.  Loved and cried buckets at the interaction between Frodo and Sam.  And for that reason alone, I think you need BBM on the big screen.  I promise you, no one will care if you cry buckets.  They may be doing the same.  Don't be afraid.  Embrace it.  Please. Please.  Please.  And let us know about your experience afterward.  That is waht we are here for.  Remember, we have all been through this.  You will be so glad you did.  Hugs.
J