How Brokeback affected me

[DaveinPhilly]

Brokeback Mountain affected us Vermonter's so much that we are trying to name one of our Mountains after the movie. We are doing so out of respect for the author, actors and the concept of love between two people no matter what their sex. More information can be read at www.brokebackmountainvermont.com.

In addition, we made the news last night. The story can be seen at http://www.thechamplainchannel.com/news/8219212/detail.html

The TV station created a poll too  LOL!  Please give us a hand by placing your vote.

This is beyond cool!!!!

[Erik]

Going to see the movie 2nite for the second time... cannot wait....

Actually, now that i realize it, BbM did something to me that i did not realize as yet.... it made me feel proud, proud to be gay...

i was not ashamed of it, at the worst maybe at times uncomfortable, but to feel proud is somethin new... Does anyone know what i mean?

You've hit the nail on the head! It made me proud too. The old "gay pride" thing always seemed like a weak excuse for a political stance, but I am proud to be a gay man and much of this is due to BBM.

Enjoy Eric.

DaveinPhilly

Gay prides have - for me - nothing to do with being proud of being gay. I think they are so exhibitionist, in Amsterdam these parades are gay men, showing of their muscles etc. Fo rme this has  nothin gto do with being gay or a man or whatever. I am still struggling whether or not i feel or need to feel a sense of community with people with whom i have in most cases nothing more in common than just my sexual orientation.. i mean the everage str8 person does not share somethin with Stalin or Mao either, just because they were str8 too..

But people always say to me, when i tell them that i am gay: Oh, but u dont look gay at all! And then i'm happy... and feel a coward too.. All these prejudices.. including my own.. what to do about them...

[Erik]

What is important about BbM too is that is provided us with some very strong anti cliche rolemodels. This is not only important for me but especially for young people struggling with their ownself image. From now on also masculine cowboys can be gay. It is neccessary for people tounderstand that not all gays are screaming faggots with handbags, who love painting and home decorating and all these things.

To be gay is just a sexual orientation that we are born with. Nothing more and nothing less. It does not define my personality. What does affect my personality and the way i grew up though, is the way society reacts on my sexual orientation.

[Erik]

Going to see the movie 2nite for the second time... cannot wait....

Actually, now that i realize it, BbM did something to me that i did not realize as yet.... it made me feel proud, proud to be gay...

i was not ashamed of it, at the worst maybe at times uncomfortable, but to feel proud is somethin new... Does anyone know what i mean?

I know exactly how you feel. Tonight I am going for my 5th time but this time it will be in my town with my friends. I really can't believe that we have come this far and I am looking forward to complete acceptance. That is my dream.

Wow, and i'm really jealous that you see it in the place where it 'really' happened.. I envy you.. wish i was there.... After all, pizza always tastes better in Italy itself than anywhere else...

[Erik]

Wow i became EXPERIENCED with three stars!!! 

[Poohbunn]

You've hit the nail on the head! It made me proud too. The old "gay pride" thing always seemed like a weak excuse for a political stance, but I am proud to be a gay man and much of this is due to BBM.

Great for you both.  It's high time that a movie like this came along, rather than the recent usual fare of comedy gays who probably don't resemble anyone we know.
-- Pooh

[BthovenRox]

Well, now that I've finally joined, I see just how NOT alone I am.  This book and movie broke me open wide.  It had never been illustrated to me so well how I was brought up in a conservative rural setting and very much, the straight world.  I'm still in it and nearly nobody knows.  This movie showed me that love was the most important thing, that it was possible, and that none of us today need to suffer as Ennis did.   It might be the most painful thing any one of us does, but think about the long-suffering men and women only illustrated in this movie... who could never act, never think, never love.  Thank God that this came into all of our lives... not because I had a Brokeback experience as so many claim to.  I honor that.  My connection is that I, like Ennis, out of fear, out of rejection, out of denial, have lived 37 years without even pursuing love.  I am almost as old as Ennis when he lost the only love he'd known- a love that he might have still had and not lost if they'd been together and weathered the times.  The cultural impact is staggering.  We might get there in our lifetimes.  We might now.  The Oscars didnt think so... but the rest of the country and ALL OF THE WORLD did.  Let's not hate those who fear and reject.  However, let's not hate ourselves.  Pursue love.  You'll find that if you do, and you let go of resentment... most especially self-resentment, everything in your life from your health to your work to your happiness WILL open up for you.  Thank God I found this at 37.  Thanks Dave Cullen for your wonderful site.  Looking forward to reading the 1000s of posts!

Michael in West Virginia

[Erik]

Great for you both.  It's high time that a movie like this came along, rather than the recent usual fare of comedy gays who probably don't resemble anyone we know.
-- Pooh

Exactly! hugzz

[jakelikethat]

Brokeback got me good but I long await the film that shows us the triumph of love and winning instead of losing, living instead of dying.

um.... yeah.  that's the one that i'm currently in the process of writing.  (well - converting my already-written short story to a screenplay for the indie film market)

*file under shameless self-promotion*


jake

[Cameron816]

Well, now that I've finally joined, I see just how NOT alone I am.  This book and movie broke me open wide.  It had never been illustrated to me so well how I was brought up in a conservative rural setting and very much, the straight world.  I'm still in it and nearly nobody knows.  This movie showed me that love was the most important thing, that it was possible, and that none of us today need to suffer as Ennis did.   It might be the most painful thing any one of us does, but think about the long-suffering men and women only illustrated in this movie... who could never act, never think, never love.  Thank God that this came into all of our lives... not because I had a Brokeback experience as so many claim to.  I honor that.  My connection is that I, like Ennis, out of fear, out of rejection, out of denial, have lived 37 years without even pursuing love.  I am almost as old as Ennis when he lost the only love he'd known- a love that he might have still had and not lost if they'd been together and weathered the times.  The cultural impact is staggering.  We might get there in our lifetimes.  We might now.  The Oscars didnt think so... but the rest of the country and ALL OF THE WORLD did.  Let's not hate those who fear and reject.  However, let's not hate ourselves.  Pursue love.  You'll find that if you do, and you let go of resentment... most especially self-resentment, everything in your life from your health to your work to your happiness WILL open up for you.  Thank God I found this at 37.  Thanks Dave Cullen for your wonderful site.  Looking forward to reading the 1000s of posts!

Michael in West Virginia

Michael -

I have the same situation.  Now that I have recognized this emotion as some what of a "self" grieving process... as if I've been shown by the three spirits of Christmas what my lot will be if I do not change.  I'm now coming into the stage where this movie is my intervention and now steps must be taken; opportunity is knocking and I can't pass this one by.

-Cameron

[couzins43]

Going to see the movie 2nite for the second time... cannot wait....

Actually, now that i realize it, BbM did something to me that i did not realize as yet.... it made me feel proud, proud to be gay...

i was not ashamed of it, at the worst maybe at times uncomfortable, but to feel proud is somethin new... Does anyone know what i mean?

You've hit the nail on the head! It made me proud too. The old "gay pride" thing always seemed like a weak excuse for a political stance, but I am proud to be a gay man and much of this is due to BBM.

Enjoy Eric.

DaveinPhilly

Gay prides have - for me - nothing to do with being proud of being gay. I think they are so exhibitionist, in Amsterdam these parades are gay men, showing of their muscles etc. Fo rme this has  nothin gto do with being gay or a man or whatever. I am still struggling whether or not i feel or need to feel a sense of community with people with whom i have in most cases nothing more in common than just my sexual orientation.. i mean the everage str8 person does not share somethin with Stalin or Mao either, just because they were str8 too..

But people always say to me, when i tell them that i am gay: Oh, but u dont look gay at all! And then i'm happy... and feel a coward too.. All these prejudices.. including my own.. what to do about them...

Just now going through the process of coming out and I too don't know how to deal with 'gay pride'. Although I'm not ashamed anymore, I don't necessarily feel the need to ride a float or put myself on display. Perhaps there's more to it than that, so bare with me. I only want to live my life as true to myself as possible. Is this being a coward?

[Erik]

Well, now that I've finally joined, I see just how NOT alone I am.  This book and movie broke me open wide.  It had never been illustrated to me so well how I was brought up in a conservative rural setting and very much, the straight world.  I'm still in it and nearly nobody knows.  This movie showed me that love was the most important thing, that it was possible, and that none of us today need to suffer as Ennis did.   It might be the most painful thing any one of us does, but think about the long-suffering men and women only illustrated in this movie... who could never act, never think, never love.  Thank God that this came into all of our lives... not because I had a Brokeback experience as so many claim to.  I honor that.  My connection is that I, like Ennis, out of fear, out of rejection, out of denial, have lived 37 years without even pursuing love.  I am almost as old as Ennis when he lost the only love he'd known- a love that he might have still had and not lost if they'd been together and weathered the times.  The cultural impact is staggering.  We might get there in our lifetimes.  We might now.  The Oscars didnt think so... but the rest of the country and ALL OF THE WORLD did.  Let's not hate those who fear and reject.  However, let's not hate ourselves.  Pursue love.  You'll find that if you do, and you let go of resentment... most especially self-resentment, everything in your life from your health to your work to your happiness WILL open up for you.  Thank God I found this at 37.  Thanks Dave Cullen for your wonderful site.  Looking forward to reading the 1000s of posts!

Michael in West Virginia

Welcome friend! This site becomes an obession, almost to the same degree as the movie

Erik from Amsterdam

[DaveinPhilly]

But people always say to me, when i tell them that i am gay: Oh, but u dont look gay at all! And then i'm happy... and feel a coward too.. All these prejudices.. including my own.. what to do about them...

Just now going through the process of coming out and I too don't know how to deal with 'gay pride'. Although I'm not ashamed anymore, I don't necessarily feel the need to ride a float or put myself on display. Perhaps there's more to it than that, so bare with me. I only want to live my life as true to myself as possible. Is this being a coward?

No, being true to yourself is what it means to be a human being fully alive. It is bravery, not cowardice, to be proud of who you are at the deepest level and that means accepting yourself exactly the way you are and making the best person out of it.

It's not about "looking" gay or being the "comic" gay, or being "macho" or anything else - none of that matters in the least. Coming out means the acceptance of your identity and building a real, loving, constructive life without shame or fear - the very things that made BBM impossible for Jack & Ennis.

DaveinPhilly

[Erik]

Just now going through the process of coming out and I too don't know how to deal with 'gay pride'. Although I'm not ashamed anymore, I don't necessarily feel the need to ride a float or put myself on display. Perhaps there's more to it than that, so bare with me. I only want to live my life as true to myself as possible. Is this being a coward?

No, the exact opposite! I try to do the same.. what i meant was that i'm wondering now if i do not have to do more.. my life is relatively comfy, but should i not be more active, help gay people, join organisations etc, help emancipation, explain etc.. Usually i dont.. im happy if im left alone.. maybe thats why i am a coward?

[DaveinPhilly]

Just now going through the process of coming out and I too don't know how to deal with 'gay pride'. Although I'm not ashamed anymore, I don't necessarily feel the need to ride a float or put myself on display. Perhaps there's more to it than that, so bare with me. I only want to live my life as true to myself as possible. Is this being a coward?

No, the exact opposite! I try to do the same.. what i meant was that i'm wondering now if i do not have to do more.. my life is relatively comfy, but should i not be more active, help gay people, join organisations etc, help emancipation, explain etc.. Usually i dont.. im happy if im left alone.. maybe thats why i am a coward?

I think it's important to be involved for the general good of society and hopefully for the good of other gay people as well. I'm trying to figure out what I should be doing. I've been a coward by not being involved thinking that I was somehow "above" all that sort of involvement, but we do have resposibilities to make this a better world.