How Brokeback affected me

[Kantblue]

Hello Changedforever,

You may be un-techy, but your message hasn't sent the forum into meltdown! Nice post!

My response to this film has astonished me, I think for the first time in my life (I'm 47), I truly understand what other people mean when they talk about "art having the power to change lives". I've never understood what this meant - until now.

When I first saw this film, I really didn't understand its impact on me, to be honest I found my response baffling and also frightening, and I felt too foolish to try to explain it to others, even my partner.

It was only by googling "brokeback mountain devastation" that I came to realise that many others were experiencing strong reactions to this movie. Google brought me here too, and I'm so grateful. I've not made many posts being mostly a lurker (like most members, I expect) but this forum has been inspirational to say the least.

I second your comment about being amazed and humbled by this film!

[jonas]

Boris, Jaysmommy, you are both so right about the "happiness effect"  of "Brokeback Mountain".  I have spoken to more than one person here on the forum about this very thing.  J, this place is a "safe haven" where, to one extent or another, everyone has been able to sort out their feelings and use them to chart a new course for their lives.  Because we CHOOSE to make that transition.  We, as human beings want to "become more vulnerable to happiness".  Jack wanted that.  Ennis didn't know how to define it, let alone achieve it.  But we, after having accepted this miracle which is "Brokeback", may now allow ourselves the right to seek and perhaps find that happiness which eluded them.  Jack and Ennis are powerful teachers.  We at this forum are learning their lesson.

My love and wish for happiness to both of you and to all my brothers and sisters in this family,
Jackie

And thats maybe the most important lesson in life.Thats why so many people are so crazy about it- they feel that its something essentiel that they´ve been missing. I totally agree with you on this.

Agreed... and boy is this movie a powerful teaching tool. I can just see this movie becoming a standard for decades to come. The universality of its message. When we look at the diverse group of people who visit this site and share their lives, we see evidence of the power. The fact that I am still feeling the energy of BBM a week after last seeing it proves the power. An image online or on tv, and I'm back on the mountain. I hear the music and the feelings fill me. There have been movies that have moved me, but this great piece of art has really transformed me. I know it has done so for so many others just from what I read here.

I am so happy to see people still writing and sharing. Thanks again. I don't keep up with this as often as many of you and I haven't developed the rapport many of you share with each other (I'm a bit Ennis in that regard), but I love reading your words. BBM has made me more open in my daily life. I was talking to a friend about my feelings in relation to the movie, and he said, "That's more than you've said in ten years." - a little twist on Jack's comment to Ennis.

I really don´t think there´s anything else I could add to this posting, I agree 100% with these postings. I know for some this may sound tacky but this movie is indeed a powerful tool for personal transformation if you let it happen to you. This "energy" you all mention, well, it´s there in me, now all we have to do is let that energy guide us towards that happiness we all want to achieve.

It may take weeks, months, even years to achieve what we want but the most important thing is not to lose the spirit of Brokeback Mountain.

I feel sad and happy right now.

I also want to thank all the people in this forum for opening their hearts and letting the world know that it wasn´t "just me" who felt the wave of emotions this movie re-awakened in me. We were all touched by this powerful story, let´s take advantage of that fact.

[GuyPH]

How has brokeback mountain affected me?

It has made me awfully sad.  After watching it the first time, i left the theater crying.  Then I read the book and cried even more.  I have watched the movie four times now.  There hasn't been a movie I watched multiple times in the theater since Titanic.  I think I am totally obsessed with this movie.  I think about it everytime, I discuss it with my friends everytime we meet, and I spend many sleepless nights thinking about the scenes in the movie, and cry myself to sleep.

I think the sadness that I am feeling is because I can relate a lot to Enis' character.  I am out to some very close friends, but not to people I work with.  I am a 27 yo gay guy, but currently not in relationship.  Of course I get those questions from my colleagues why I don't have a girlfriend.  But it's not because I am not looking.  Boy, I wish I could find my Jack Twist soon.  The movie has a very sad ending, but at least Enis had very important realizations in life.  If I were to extend the story a little, I wish he would not grow old alone.  I wish he'd find someone new to love, someone who is just like Jack.

This forum is great and I think you guys are a wonderful bunch.  This forum helps me somehow to deal with the depression.  Thanks a millions..!!

[Mona]

 Hei girl, my dear Brokaholic friend, the fact that u made me see this movie, and now, reading your beautiful post , made me realize once again, why we became close friends so quickly and why i consider u my best friend! Thank you!
  It's so strange, i saw the movie last night, and i still dont know what to feel, what to say, i just can't articulate a thing! not yet... I probably must see this movie once again! 
  Imagine i'm sending u my biggest Hug   

[Poohbunn]

I just read the most remarkable review of BBM in a local artsy paper.  I have it on a PDF file (less than 400 kb) and wondered how I could share it.  If anyone knows how to do this on the forum let me know.  If it can't be done, write to me at DMcgarry@lifespan.org (my work e mail) or eekabird@cox.net (my home e mail) and I'll send it to you.

Debi

[Poohbunn]

I'm a 47-year-old solitary gay man in a rural setting, with no prospects for love.

I feel for you.  I can't say I walk in your shoes, but I can say I empathize with you.  I have no brilliant advice but to say that crying over this is healthy.  What you don't express will eat you away inside (like Ennis).  Big hugs.....Debi

[mountain boy]

... Yellow for faithfulness, freesias because they bloom for only a short time but are so wonderful and roses for love. As I put them in the vase I turned to me husband and said "They're for Jack and Ennis". He didn't laugh. He nodded and kissed me...

         

[Brokaholic]

Hei girl, my dear Brokaholic friend, the fact that u made me see this movie, and now, reading your beautiful post , made me realize once again, why we became close friends so quickly and why i consider u my best friend! Thank you!
  It's so strange, i saw the movie last night, and i still dont know what to feel, what to say, i just can't articulate a thing! not yet... I probably must see this movie once again! 
  Imagine i'm sending u my biggest Hug   

Thanks Mona,
 For seeing this movie and reading my post. Welcome to this forum too. and when you are ready to articulate your thoughts I am waiting to read them.

[bradINblue]

How has brokeback mountain affected me?

It has made me awfully sad.  After watching it the first time, i left the theater crying.  Then I read the book and cried even more.  I have watched the movie four times now.  There hasn't been a movie I watched multiple times in the theater since Titanic.  I think I am totally obsessed with this movie.  I think about it everytime, I discuss it with my friends everytime we meet, and I spend many sleepless nights thinking about the scenes in the movie, and cry myself to sleep.

I think the sadness that I am feeling is because I can relate a lot to Enis' character.  I am out to some very close friends, but not to people I work with.  I am a 27 yo gay guy, but currently not in relationship.  Of course I get those questions from my colleagues why I don't have a girlfriend.  But it's not because I am not looking.  Boy, I wish I could find my Jack Twist soon.  The movie has a very sad ending, but at least Enis had very important realizations in life.  If I were to extend the story a little, I wish he would not grow old alone.  I wish he'd find someone new to love, someone who is just like Jack.

This forum is great and I think you guys are a wonderful bunch.  This forum helps me somehow to deal with the depression.  Thanks a millions..!!

Hey guy, perhapes BBM will give you the nudge you need to carry on. Keep looking. Do not despair. Not all our stories have sad endings. Your a perfect age to fall in love and build a life Jack dreamed of. Your road is long.
What BBM did for me, was seal a relationship with my man who put up with a lot of shit cause of the Ennis is me. It was the nudge I needed. Welcome.

brad

[ohboy]

GODS & MONSTERS

I have lived in a bubble, a strange bubble of comfort and optimism and hope. BBM and its success have lifted me out of my usual bitter misanthropic view of America. Since the film has opened and succeeded and won awards, I have begun to think that maybe this country we live in will all of a sudden stop being hateful, prejudiced, and scornful. I believed that all this toxic world needed was to be shown that being gay is as simple as being straight; it’s about whom you love. Not a complex notion. All of a sudden my romantic soul, frozen for so long, has come alive. And my denial of reality blessedly maintained my bubble. But I fear it is short lived. The bubble will burst on Sunday.

I have this neurotic obsession about winning Oscars. Despite the 30+ years of viewing grave oversights, despite the understanding that it is nothing but a PR game, despite the notion that in the long run it is essentially meaningless, I want and need the validation. And what has usually been a fun night to anticipate has turned into a night I am dreading. I read recent prognostications about Academy old-timers leaping to turn off their screeners after the first tent scene and voting for Crash. I believe it.  I read the NY Times this AM that some members of the academy “ may have trouble marking the ballot for a grand, sweeping story of a love whose name must not be mumbled.” I believe it. I read fellow posters here shouting that losing BP would be historically unprecedented. Sadly, fear trumps history. My bubble is going to burst, isn’t it?

 I cannot bear the thought of hearing “Crash” being read out loud. For when I hear that I will be hearing: “Sorry gay guys, you still make us squirm. We can’t deal with men kissing. Please stay in your closet. Please stay like Jack on ‘Will & Grace’ – a sexless buffoon.” And my bubble will burst and I’ll have to go back to being so angry about the country we live in. And this makes me sad, because it felt so good to be hopeful each week I read the box office reports, to read about each award that has been bestowed.  It felt so good. It feels so good. But I fear that under the glare of the Oscar spotlight, when the final message of acceptance could be broadcast to the world, we will lose. And again I will understand the need to move to Canada.

I titled this rant “Gods & Monster”. That gay film, a critical darling with multiple nominations, went home with the Miss Congeniality Oscar: Best Adapted Screenplay…that’s all. I anticipate the same fate.

Will someone please help console this tortured soul?

[bradINblue]

My bubble is going to burst, isn’t it?

ohboy, it will if you let it.....

brad

[Brokaholic]

GODS & MONSTERS

I have lived in a bubble, a strange bubble of comfort and optimism and hope. BBM and its success have lifted me out of my usual bitter misanthropic view of America. Since the film has opened and succeeded and won awards, I have begun to think that maybe this country we live in will all of a sudden stop being hateful, prejudiced, and scornful. I believed that all this toxic world needed was to be shown that being gay is as simple as being straight; it’s about whom you love. Not a complex notion. All of a sudden my romantic soul, frozen for so long, has come alive. And my denial of reality blessedly maintained my bubble. But I fear it is short lived. The bubble will burst on Sunday.

I have this neurotic obsession about winning Oscars. Despite the 30+ years of viewing grave oversights, despite the understanding that it is nothing but a PR game, despite the notion that in the long run it is essentially meaningless, I want and need the validation. And what has usually been a fun night to anticipate has turned into a night I am dreading. I read recent prognostications about Academy old-timers leaping to turn off their screeners after the first tent scene and voting for Crash. I believe it. I read the NY Times this AM that some members of the academy “ may have trouble marking the ballot for a grand, sweeping story of a love whose name must not be mumbled.” I believe it. I read fellow posters here shouting that losing BP would be historically unprecedented. Sadly, fear trumps history. My bubble is going to burst, isn’t it?

 I cannot bear the thought of hearing “Crash” being read out loud. For when I hear that I will be hearing: “Sorry gay guys, you still make us squirm. We can’t deal with men kissing. Please stay in your closet. Please stay like Jack on ‘Will & Grace’ – a sexless buffoon.” And my bubble will burst and I’ll have to go back to being so angry about the country we live in. And this makes me sad, because it felt so good to be hopeful each week I read the box office reports, to read about each award that has been bestowed. It felt so good. It feels so good. But I fear that under the glare of the Oscar spotlight, when the final message of acceptance could be broadcast to the world, we will lose. And again I will understand the need to move to Canada.

I titled this rant “Gods & Monster”. That gay film, a critical darling with multiple nominations, went home with the Miss Congeniality Oscar: Best Adapted Screenplay…that’s all. I anticipate the same fate.

Will someone please help console this tortured soul?

I live in a similar bubble. Dear friend you best believe BBM will win come sunday. The reason is well composed by Sean Means of the Salt Tribune " "Crash" will win Best Picture, the argument goes, because conservative Academy voters are uncomfortable with honoring a gay-themed movie, but they don't want to appear bigoted so they'll go for the black/white/Latino/Arab drama instead. (Another argument is that Oscar voters, most of whom live in Los Angeles, will gravitate toward a movie that makes their city look cosmopolitan.) Those arguments, though, feel like half-hearted attempts to inject some drama into an otherwise predictable Oscar Night.
   The truth is that "Brokeback Mountain" is an important, relevant film and an exquisitely made one. It's rare when Hollywood can reward both a movie and its message - and Oscar isn't going to miss the chance this year."
YOu can read the entire aritcle http://www.sltrib.com/entertainment/ci_3564127

[bradINblue]

The truth is that "Brokeback Mountain" is an important, relevant film and an exquisitely made one. It's rare when Hollywood can reward both a movie and its message - and Oscar isn't going to miss the chance this year."
YOu can read the entire aritcle

I am with you Brokaholic, but oh how my stomach is in knots.

brad

[brokebacktom]

I agree w/ the last two enteries.  Ifd CRAS wins hwo do we believed it won fairly.  BBM was not a political movie, but was trust upon the political arena by peoplke who hated its message that love is "Universal". I know if CRASH wins I will not watch the awards again. I wished they would have honored WALK THE LINE fo best picture, that I would have believed. I don't with CRASH, its all politics and not on the bauty of the films now. Tom

[Hasse]

Hi guys and girls,

I haven't posted that much on this excellent forum but I have read as much as possible, but boy is it hard to keep up with all the new postings?!    There are so many truly nice and warm people here and I've been moved to tears by many postings!

I will try and explain how BBM has affected me, please bare with me though as I'm not very good at expressing myself in writing, not even in my native language (swedish). Hell, come to think about it, I'm not that good at expressing my fellings in speach either! Might be a little bit like Ennis in that respect.

The first time I watched BBM I wasn't that moved, I thougt it was a beautiful and very sad film with outstanding acting, score and scenery. The next day I found myself thinking about it all the time and I just had to see it again asap! When I did it hit my like a ton of bricks and I wept like a baby! I qouldn't quiet figure out why though. True, it was a devestatingly sad story but apart from the fact that I'm gay there wasn't really anything else that I really could relate to. At least that was what I thought. Imo the film isn't only about lost love but also about loneliness. And that is what I can relate to!

Let me tell you a little  about myself, which feels kinda weird, doing it to strangers on the internet.

I'm 48 yo and lives in a small town (25000 people) in the middle of Sweden and I like living here. There aren't any visible homophobia, thankfully the vast majority of Swedes are very liberal when it comes to gay issues. I'm blessed with many very dear friends that I trust 100%, and I know there isn't anything the wouldn't do for me, they are very supportive. I came out of the closet 10 years ago and by now all my friends know that I'm gay. The thing is though, that I have never been in a serious loving relationship. I have been in love twice but both times in straight friends (pathetic isn't it?) which was quiet an ordeal. For the last 10 years I've had a regular sexpartner (bi/straight married guy) but although the sex is great I don't love him. Which might be a good thing considering him being married and all. The prospects of finding someone to build a future with here in my hometown is very slim to say the least. There are of course some gay men living here, I know and hang out with some of them, they are nice and good friends but I'm not in love with any of them. I know of course that moving to a bigger city would increase the possibilites of actually meeting someone and fall in love. But my whole life and all my friends are here!! Maybe it's just me not being brave enogh to brake up and move, thinking I'm too old to start anew?

So the thing that affects me the most about BBM is that I can easily see myself ending up like Ennis, alone and no one to love (although hi has his girls) and it makes me depressed! 
The one single shot in BBM that moves me the most is when Ennis stands at the door of his trailer looking after Junior with her sweather in his hands. OMG that extremly sad expression in his eyes!!!!   

Ok, I can tell I'm rambling now so I better stop! I just hope I made some kind of sense!

hugs to all the lovely people of this forum.   

Hasse