How Brokeback affected me

[NickInIdaho]

...my wife's water broke and 2 hours later, Barsen Kael entered the world...

Sorry, I am a little tired...I meant Brasen Kael.  Pronounced like brazen...

All have a great day - he should be coming home today!

And thanks for all the well wishes!  It means a lot!

Nick

Just curious Nick......never heard that name before.... very nice,has character....do you know what it means?

Nellie,

It means 'God's gift.'  And after you hear the birth story, you will know he really is!  Here is a spoiler... his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times and there were 2 knots in the cord - over half the babies born this way are born dead.  We are blessed to have him!

[NickInIdaho]

Btw, did you watch the BAFTAs? I couldn't help but think of Stephen Frye's comments about spilling water at Michelle's feet and the pretense that her water had broken... and here it happened with your wife!

I feel all warm and cozy thinking of your new baby. Congrats to your wife as well.

I didn't see the BAFTA's - I was disappointed that I missed them - I won't miss the Oscars for the world!!


ALSO - if you guys could keep me in your thoughts - I am interviewing tomorrow for a new job within my company - it would be a huge upswing...more money, bigger future, etc. 

THANKS GUYS (AND GIRLS, OF COURSE)  YOU ARE THE BEST!!

Nick

[mcnell1120]

...my wife's water broke and 2 hours later, Barsen Kael entered the world...

Sorry, I am a little tired...I meant Brasen Kael.  Pronounced like brazen...

All have a great day - he should be coming home today!

And thanks for all the well wishes!  It means a lot!

Nick

Just curious Nick......never heard that name before.... very nice,has character....do you know what it means?

Nellie,

It means 'God's gift.'  And after you hear the birth story, you will know he really is!  Here is a spoiler... his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times and there were 2 knots in the cord - over half the babies born this way are born dead.  We are blessed to have him!

Oh my God...I want to cry right now......you're llife is just getting better and better...I will definitely keep you in my thoughts.....Hugs..kisses....good luck tomorrow,sweetie !!

Nellie

[paintedshoes]

Nick, dear, welcome to little Brasen.  So much joy today!  There is a wonderful new life in our family with all the possibilities of the world ahead of him.

All the luck in the world on your job interview.

Happy tears are leaking out of the corners of my eyes.

[Brokaholic]

Nickinidaho, Congratulations to you on becoming a Dad.

[flyingTom]

I am a Finnish middle aged man living alone since 8 years, happily working in a dreamwork, everything looking just fine. I had for a long time ago made up my mind not to have a love relationship with another man, I had accepted it and thought this is the way it should be. I was not complaining though I was sad occasionally, but still very sure that this is the way I am suppused to live my life. All of this crashed the day  when I saw BBM for the first time. Everything changed in a minute, everything I had so carefully planned  vanished and what was left were  wide open eyes wondering what the heck shall I do NOW and a broken heart which wants to be filled with love again. I am amazed of BBM and each time I see it (I have seen it four times now) I cry even more.  How can this film touch so many hearts? It is a magical film, universal (believe me or not even we in Northern Europe can easily relate to these two wonderfull men) and beautiful. It gives hope in this world full of hatery and war. The hope is hidden in our hearts, and it is love; to be loved and accepted the way we are. My heart is bleeding for Ennis hoping that I would not be that Ennis left alone in misery. I don't know where to go now, everything has to be started from scratch. But it is a good feeling, and  I guess I would not have done without BBM.

Hi Jakkefin,

I was so amazed when I read your message that I felt compelled to immediately respond. As if you were reading my mind, you described exactly the way I felt until recently. I also decided not to have a love relationship with another man many years ago. I basically accepted my fate and never considered questioning my decision until I saw BBM. I was so profoundly touched by the movie and its message that I decided to reevaluate my situation. This message board has been a blessing to me. I've been reading the messages in this thread since last week and are glad to learn that I'm not the only one who is affected so deeply by the movie. I'm so greatful to Annie Proulx for envision such a beautiful and haunting story, the wonderful cast (in particular Jake and Heath), Ang Lee and Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana for the adaptation. I've seen the movie three times, read the original story, and look forward to buying the DVD.

-Tom

[sagha/Mo]

Nick,
Kudos, huzzahs, cheers, congratulations, yells, applause, toasts, plaudits, salutes, bis, laudations, compliments, hosannas, shouts, praises, alleluias, salvos of econimuns, yips, accolades, honors. acclamations, laurels, panegyrics, hoorays and hoorahs, jubilation, tributes, adulations, glorias.

To begin the celebrations and merriment, I have ordered a fatted lamb and moose be brought in, libations of Jake's whiskey, and afterwards free drinks on the house. I bequeath thee Cathay and the province of Calgary! 
                           --Michael O

[jack]

jakke and tom...

welcome to the world of the open bleeding wound.  i apologise for being so graphic, but i suspect this is the roughest part of the road for y'all.  i'm a pretty risk taking guy, and even i had settled for trying to arrange a "comfortable" life in all probability alone, but for my AA companions.  it may yet be that way, but it will NOT be because i quit the game.  i am 62, but there just may be a few good years left in the old boy yet.

please stick around, process, share the journey, and help reassure those that follow you here they are not uniquely crazy.  what is too much for any of us alone, WE can do together. 

and if you think you are the only lonely gay man in the world, just look around in here.  some of the finest men i have never met are in here, and i know them now.  this experience is just the BEGINNING of the story.  this is a movement under way.

love to you all,

jack

 

[DaveinPhilly]

I'm with jack 100%. A movement underway. Let's think of how we can move forward in a positive way.DaveinPhilly

[RodneyWY]

Here's a terrific Yahoo news item about BBM's place in history:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060227/film_nm/oscars_gays_dc

[Jaysmommy]

Ledger succeeds mightily in portraying Ennis's smoldering repression, but Gyllenhaal has to juggle his character's need to remain manly and closeted with his loving, open, supportive nature and – as time passes – his aching need to be loved in return.  It's a real tightrope act that I think Gyllenhaal negotiates almost flawlessly.
 

Agreed, and it is the passion that both actors brought to these roles, the fact they completely became Ennis and Jack that has us all forever tied to them. Heath was amazing and Jake was sublime.

[Basqueboy]

Basqueboy what a wonderful and precious story you have told us. I thank you greatly, I really do, because my sister too has been a great friend & comfort in my life for her unquestioning support and love. I hope that you can write this story more fully and write down the whole conversation. You have just whet our need to hear more of it.

                                                           --sagha

Thank you, Sagha for the attention you pay to my posts. I'll try to write down something more complete of our conversation last Saturday, my sisters and mine, I mean.

I've told you already that I intended to have that private conversation, so I refused an other invitation to have lunch with other people (my mom among them). When I arrived to her house she was alone there, since Saturdays is when her daughters are with their dad. I think it was a mere coincidence (or it wasn't?), but she was listening to BBM's soundtrack when I arrived. I told her that I had been doing the same thing in my car in my way to her house. And then, since the very start of the meal I was looking for a good moment to come out to her, but I guess no one is better than another one in such cases, and while we were talking about the Roman Catholic Church's officials here (bishops and some priests), I just grabbed my opportunity and told her: "I just want to come out of the closet for you" (In Basque, of course, not in English -the words aren't exactly the same). And she went "very good! So, what? I tell you, I didn't know it beforehand, but I got suspicious about you being so crazy about BBM lately and I had asked myself 'what if...?'. Now I understand lots of things. Allthesame, it's alright with me" Then I told her that I had come out long ago (14 years) to some people in my religious community and others, that she was the first one in my family to know anything about it, that I had had that love story with a boy she knows when I was 19, and that I still keep my celibacy as my own way to be intensely happy (which I am, indeed). She understood everything quite well and was terribly supporting. She advised me not to tell (yet) my little brother, who would, perhaps, misunderstand the whole point, nor my mother who wouldn't understand it at all. Just if I needed to do so, I should she said, but not otherwise. I agreed on the part of my mother, but I'm in two minds about my brother. I think he also must know, but she knows him better and I trust her on that (so far).

But there is something more I want to share with you lot. That very Saturday night I decided that it was about time to sort things out with the guy I fell in love more than 20 years ago (I am 46), he must be 44 by now. And I wrote to him this letter (in Basque also):

I've been in two minds this last month whether I should send you this message. You may remember how I sent you an other message late in the summer, telling how worthy you were for me, like all the people I love. That being true, I must tell you that there is something more. The movie Brokeback Mountain has ignited the strength in me to tell you. Since I saw it for the first time many things have changed in my life (I don't know if you have seen it; if not, I strongly recommend you do). In my blog you can see how it affected me. But for you, and just for you, I ask you that you enter this page: http://davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=101.2880 (It's a link to my first post in this forum). In that page you'll find a post I send some days ago, under the nickname 'Basqueboy'. It's in English, but I hope you'll understand it without too much trouble. You are the boy mentioned there, even though our relationship could have been added some details out of my imagination. I've loved you since I first put my eyes on you, and I am so fed up of concealing it...! Careful! This doesn't want to be the start of anything. That's not my intention. In the post mentioned above you may read that I am deeply happy with the choices I've made in my life and that I want them to remain the way they are. I don't want to spoil anyone else's happiness, nor your's or your family's.

But I would like to know what your feelings were or are toward me or what does this message bring to you. In writting this to you there isn't the smallest intention of giving you any harm at all, but on the contrary, I do this because I sense that I owed you and that I want to be open about it. I came out today to my sister, whom you know, and the week before to a friend of mine, the pastor of my parish. Many people in my community  know it long ago, and so do some other friends of mine. But you are the first one of my friends in your area to know anything about it. I thing it's quite fair it to be so. As I've told you, you become fed up not being open about yourself, over all with your close friends. I hope this won't break our friendship. Don't get scared by this message, please (that would be an authentic nightmare for me...).

Well K. Now you see why I'm willing to have a chat with you, in person, not by email or phone. But if you wouldn't like it, I would understand, don't worry.

With love,

Basqueboy

And here I am: its Tuesday night and no response at all yet... Perhaps he hasn't looked into his inbox yet, or whatever. The bottomline is that it won't let me rest until I get some word from him, being it refusal or embrace, I don't care. But, Oh God! Something!

[Brokaholic]

Basqueboy, that was very brave of you. The waiting might seem endless but you'll have your answer one way or another and hopefully you can move on to better things. You make me want to reach out and hold you just to make the time pass easier. Anyway perhaps you own jack is lurking around the corner...waiting

[gnash]

Honestly, I don't know the way the Academy works, but it should be a voting member's  REQUIREMENT to see ALL of the films in the MAJOR categories, PERIOD....(Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Supporting, Director) and you should have to certify that you have seen them all or lose your voting  priviledges.   

i feel they should watch and listen to EVERYTHING, the shorts, the animated, the docs, the foreign, the songs, the soundtracks, the everything!!! but seeing as that would be nearly impossible, it seems strange how members can vote on everything with honesty. each entry should not only watched, but scrutinized, before casting votes... i would imagine they do talk with their friends and decide what should be voted upon... which is sad. that's why i don't put much faith into the academy awards.

Nick in Idaho -- that tricky delivery, wow.. that's even more amazing about Brasen~! (great name btw!) ...what a lucky child, what a lucky family.

[twtplanner]

And here I am: its Tuesday night and no response at all yet... Perhaps he hasn't looked into his inbox yet, or whatever. The bottomline is that it won't let me rest until I get some word from him, being it refusal or embrace, I don't care. But, Oh God! Something!

Oh man Basqueboy.  waiting on the reply is going to be so very hard.  But when you do hear from him, regardless, you're going to be the better for it.  Wish there was something to say that would ease the anxiousness that you're feeling.  Just know there are many people out here sending you thoughts of support. 

tt